This afternoon's UEFA Cup match between Everton and Zenit-St. Petersburg match is a "cracker" and it's not even halftime yet.
Unfortunately, "your match commentator" is Max Bretos...solo. None of Christopher Sullivan's rambling, malapropisms, or foreign language neologisms to distract me from the constant stream of "asshattery" that is the aforementioned Bretos' version of play-by-play.
There was a poorly called penalty (and subsequent red card) earlier in the half that Max first thought was unquestionably a penalty- until he saw the replay- at which point it became the crime of the century. Given that he is probably commenting on this game while watching a monitor in a control room somewhere in the Fox Sports studios (as opposed to actually being at Goodison Park in Liverpool) he probably should have done what I did (as I sit in my living room watching on television)- wait to see the replay.