Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Quote of the Day

Today's quote comes from former Scottish international footballer Gordon Strachan:

Reporter: "Gordon, can we have a quick word please?"

Strachan: "Velocity" [walks off]

Thursday, October 14, 2010

I know your secret identity!

Dear Anonymous Commenter,

It took me a little while, but once I figured out how you found my blog I knew it was you!

So, Abby, let me be perfectly clear about a few things:

1. You are a horrible person. Maybe now that your "inside" and "outside" match you will learn that you have to be nice to people. Guess what? No matter how beautiful you are (were!) it doesn't really help when people can't stand being in the same room with you.

2. Your sunglasses are ugly, but what made you look like a jackass was the fact that when I ran into you the other day it was raining!

3. Am I bitter? Sure. Mainly because I ignored what everyone told me about you and entered into a relationship with you anyway (see, no "s"). So, sure, I'll take some of the blame.

Have fun in Austin, I won't be visiting.

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

I would prefer not to.

I think Bartleby the Scrivener may be my hero.

Is it wrong?

To become giddily happy upon learning that an ex who treated you badly has gained a prodigious amount of weight? I mean, dozens and dozens of pounds?

Well, if that's wrong I don't want to be right.

Oh, and the sunglasses make you look like a preppy jackass.

Wait, that was redundant.