Sunday, September 16, 2007

Colin McRae, MBE (1968-2007)


Colin McRae, his five year-old son Johnny, and two others died in a helicopter crash yesterday near his home in Lanark, Scotland.

Within the world of motorsports rally drivers are considered by their peers to be the best drivers, and for more than a decade, Colin McRae was one of the best rally drivers in the world.

If that means nothing to you, and it might not, think about it this way. Colin McRae was as good at what he did as anyone you can name at any given endeavor. If Colin had played guitar, he would have been Stevie Ray Vaughan, if he'd been an artist, he would have been Picasso.

If you want to have an idea of what rally drivers do, and specifically, what Colin McRae could do, go here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c_BQIaKYsk4 Pay particular attention at about the :53, watch the landing and recovery on after the second jump.

Amazing.

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

This is meaningless, but...

...here's a little something I just stumbled upon:

During France's last 47 outings they have suffered only three defeats:-

Against Italy during the 2006 World Cup Final and against Scotland twice in the Group B matches for Euro 2008.

'mon the Scots!

And Now It Gets Interesting

In a match already being called Scotland's greatest in 40 years- if not ever- the boys in blue left Paris with a 1-0 victory over France in their latest EURO 2008 qualifying match, vaulting them into first place in Group B.

A 64th minute long distance strike from Jamie McFadden (pictured) gave the underdog Scots a stirring victory over the heavily favored French side.

Scotland now have three matches remaining- Ukraine, Georgia, Italy. Seven points from these matches will guarantee qualification regardless of what France and Italy do in their three remaining matches, but five points might be enough. Either way, Scotland must hope the Ukraine- with matches remaining against both sides- can do them some favors with a strategic win or draw.

Monday, September 10, 2007

Is there such a thing as "good-natured" complaining?

So, a friend convinced me to join his fantasy football league.

I spent yesterday chained to my laptop bending my brain around how I could root for Tom Brady to have a great game while at the same time, not costing me points- I have the Jets defense, or based on yesterday's game, "defense."

Anyway, now I find myself doing the same thing while also trying to follow the Red Sox game and watch something on PBS.

ARGH!

Sunday, September 09, 2007

Just a thought...

...maybe I'm just betraying my northeastern liberal provincialism, but I pretty much stop listening to anyone talking about politics when they pronounce it, "EYE-wrack."

I want these people to hop back in their "VEE-hick-ulls" and drive away.

EURO 2008 Qualifying is Back!

Scotland has won again- 3-1 against Lithuania! Thanks to the Urkaine v. Georgia & the France v. Italy ending in draws, Scotland remain 2nd in Group B. Following the mid-week game against France, things can only get better. A win, and Scotland move into 1st place alone, a draw and Scotland remain in 2nd place on goal differential, and a loss keeps Scotland in second, but with only a precarious 1 point lead over Italy. The good news ahead of the Paris match* is that Bazza is back for Scotland and Henry is out for France via an accumulation of yellow cards.

*c'mon, that's a great joke!

Saturday, September 08, 2007

In better soccer news...

...early in the second half Scotland lead Lithuania 1-0. It's still going to be hard to qualify- too many good teams in the group, but all they can do is win their matches and see where it takes them.

Ewwww...ugh.

At first I was just going to make some snarky comments about the Russian national team being by far the ugliest team in Euro 2008 qualifying...

...and then I found myself constantly switching back to the West Virginia v. Marshall football game.

Why? Because the Russia v. Macedonia match is all but unwatchable! As much as I would like to see Macedonia- excuse, the Former Yugoslav Republic of Macedonia (I don't want the UN leaving a nasty comment on my blog)- stick it to the Russians, they're awful, and it's not going to happen.

My parting tip for the FYROM? If you keep giving up free kicks near your goal and then defending like blindfolded drunks, you're going to lose- by a lot.

Sunday, September 02, 2007

Food (literally!) for thought

Twice in the last week or so I've come across something that, I don't know, restored my faith in our country just a little bit. One was in my hometown, the other in a town near where I live. What were they?

Self-service produce stands.

One of them- the one in my hometown had a multitude of produce and no list of prices. You just took what you wanted of each vegetable and left what you thought was appropriate.

I realize that the money coming in from these stands isn't going to be the difference between affluence or poverty in either case, but it's nice to know that there are a few people who still have faith in their neighbors.

Friday, August 31, 2007

A Quote for Daily Use

Feel free to use this the next time some Dead-following, patchouli wearer tries to sell some sort of hemp something or other:

"Some sort of hippie, crystal-gripping nonsense."

Courtesy of Kari Byron (Mythbusters)

Monday, August 27, 2007

Continued Vicarious Success

In my ongoing habit of living through my friends, I bring you another success story.

My best friend, who was working in the aerospace industry as a "private" individual (though he worked at a NASA space center) now works directly for NASA.

I will now register my lack of shock when, sometime in the future, he calls to tell me that he's applying to be a "mission specialist."

Good job, Danny Boy!

It's about damn time.

Alberto Gonzales resigned today.

In the words of Comic Book Buy..."Worst Attorney General- ever!"

Sunday, August 19, 2007

A Public Service

Do yourself, and perhaps your sole a favor and go to www.youtube.com and search "Sinead O'Connor"

Listen to/watch...

1. "Oro Se Do Bheata Bhaile"
2. "The Foggy Dew" with the Chieftains
3. "Haunted" with Shane MacGowan
4.
"Mna na h Eireann"

You will learn a few things...

-Her voice is a treasure- up there with Johnny Cash, Sam Cooke, Roy Orbison, etc.
-Nobody writes a "rebel song" like the Irish.
-Gaelic is a beautiful, beautiful language.
-The Proclaimers were right, Irish girls are pretty...really pretty!
-Sinead O'Connor was Natalie Portman before Natalie Portman was Natalie Portman.

Friday, August 17, 2007

Is this the way that Rome fell?

I stood behind a woman in a checkout line today who was very vocal (to the cashier, not I) about how excited she was that she was purchasing the extended edition/director's cut/whatever of her favorite movie. That movie?

"Wild Hogs"

What was it that H.L. Mencken said, "Never underestimate the bad taste of the American public"?

I guess so...youch!

Friday, August 10, 2007

A joyous day

I could nit-pick about it raining and preventing me from playing soccer (though I should be able to do that on Monday), but I will not.

Instead, I will positively revel in the fact that it is 3:45 in the afternoon and the temperature has yet to rise above 55! And it's the middle of August!

I wore a sweatshirt when I was out earlier!

C'mon fall, hurry up and get here!

I'm also a bit chuffed because I came up with a zany, semi-serious idea for a long-term project that has me positively beaming!

Tuesday, August 07, 2007

What does it mean?

When you don't want to go to bed, can't sleep when you do, and never wake up rested no matter how long you sleep?

I don't think it can mean anything good.

I'm not sure I care.

Thursday, August 02, 2007

Awwww...

"Clemens was booed off the mound after allowing eight runs and nine hits in 1 2/3 innings."

Well, he is only getting paid $20+ million dollars for a partial season, so you can't expect him to give his best in each and every outing.

I'm sure my attitude would be different if he had signed with the Red Sox, but he didn't, and now I get to laugh at him...and the Yankees.

Saturday, July 28, 2007

Deuling Scandals

So, which is in rougher shape in terms of its image- the NFL or the Tour de France?

Friday, July 27, 2007

Last Night (+ bonus garbage)

It was 80 degrees at 10:30pm.

That's just not right.

Bonus Garbage

On a TOTALLY unrelated note, bonus points to anyone who can identify the source of my new blog title without resorting to Google.

I now have a myspace page...not because I necessarily wanted one, but because my co-workers badgered me into it. I currently have two "friends"- is that good? No, I didn't think so either. I do have a cool song on it, though, so you know, I got that going for me.

Thursday, July 26, 2007

I think I ate a bug

It's dark, the fans are blowing who-knows-what into my apartment, and I didn't bother to look before taking a big gulp from my class of soda.

At least it wasn't a big bug.

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Hmmm...

Last night was a good night...it makes me a little more hopeful about the future.

Sunday, July 15, 2007

Gilmore quits presidential race

WHO?!

It's probably a good idea to leave the race if nobody actually realizes that you are in it!

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Before anybody gets any ideas...

...my blogs new name has NOTHING to do with the establishment on Martha's Vineyard (nor it's uber-preppy ephemera), the Hound of the Baskervilles, or the Led Zepplin song. Study up on Winston Churchill if you're curious about it.

I wish to point out

that save for this very post, I have not said anything about the heat.

Attention Reader(s)

This past weekend while visiting my family I unexpectedly received a large amount of genealogical information from my mom, so I'm going to be a bit busy for the next few days. I hope you will bear with me.

Tuesday, July 03, 2007

At least make them work for their money!

I live across the street from a (dividede) parking lot.

On the right side of the parking lot is "Liquor Town," on the left side of the parking lot, the local police station.

Next to my building is a driveway in which a cruiser usually sits to a) watch the intersection and, b) to keep an eye on Liquor Town (duh).

That being said, it's probably not a good idea, after making your purchase at Liquor Town and getting back into your battleship-sized 1980's Cadillac, to drive over the curb between the two parking lots (creating the screeching noise that brought me to my window and drew the attention of the officer sitting in her cruiser (assuming she wasn't already watching the whole scene) and exit from the police station side of the lot while also laying down some tracks in the flower garden.

In a mere matter of seconds, officer one had pulled her over, two officers returning to the station pulled their cruiser in front of her, and another officer who had just exited the station on foot also sauntered over.

I'll summarize the remainder...

...the driver failed all of her sobriety tests.

...she got a bit "difficult" as she was being cuffed up, causing her to be "frog-marched" into the station.

...the non-arresting officers are currently going though the Caddy (light blue, black vinyl roof) and, judging by the amount of stuff on the roof of the car, finding a bunch of interesting things.

Short of actually crashing her car through the doors of the station I'm not sure she could have made it any easier.

Nice work!

Quote of the Day

I contend we are both atheists, I just believe in one fewer god than you do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods, you will understand why I dismiss yours.

--Stephen F. Roberts

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Vacation

So, as Day Two of my vacation hits its midpoint, I find myself with time to shake out the contents of my brain.
  • Given all of the times that I've made lists of things I hate and posted them here I am shocked that I never mentioned Cream Soda. How can something supposedly so closely related to Root Beer be so bloody awful? I think it's just one of those "old people" sodas like Ginger Ale that people haven't actually had since the Depression but somehow recall as being good. I am not fooled.
  • I am newly single. I have mixed emotions about this. There may be more lengthy posts on this in the future, but it's only been five days and I haven't quite been able to put all of my thoughts on the subject in to a nice neat package.
  • I actually went out and bought "throw pillows" ("accent pillows"?) for my relatively new (and stylish) IKEA couch. If they hadn't been so inexpensive I'm sure I'd feel much more emasculated than I do. A few more episodes of this nature and it will no longer be possible to mistake my apartment for a dorm room, which is good, right?
  • I was looking forward to playing soccer tonight, but alas, there is none to be played.
  • It's hot today, not as hot as was forecasted, but still, Africa hot.
  • I'm reading three books at the moment- down from four a mere week ago. First, a book on the history of the English language (my third such book in the last year) by David Crystal called, not shockingly, The Histories of English, a summer "page turner" in the National Treasure mode by Brad Metzler called The Book of Fate, and FINALLY, after what appear to have been endless publishing delays, Chris Salewicz' The Ballad of Joe Strummer: The Definitive Biography. The long wait for this last one was made a bit more palatable when it arrived in hardcover!
  • My most recent musical purchase is Rhino's Lightnin' Hopkins Anthology: Mojo Hand.
  • It's late June and my beloved Red Sox have managed to maintain a double digit lead in the American League East. It is too soon to rejoice, but there is some snickering going on already at the expense of a certain other team in the AL East.
  • Just a question: could there be a less interesting slate of movies out at the moment? I give you the following:
    • Spiderman 3: What a disappointment, my Spidey-sense did not tingle...at all.
    • 1408: Shouldn't Samuel L. Jackson and John Cusack make me want to see it?
    • Evan Almighty: Catering to the LCD of the fundamentalists didn't result in the expected ticket sales- good.
    • Surfs Up: Another animated penguin movie?!?!
    • Fantastic Four...: The first one was so bad I will not give this one any of my money.
    • Knocked Up: Very good, but I already saw it.
    • Nancy Drew: Um, no interest. Now if it was the Hardy Boys...
    • Shrek the Third: Nope.
    • Oceans 13: It was okay.
    • Pirates: Nope.
  • That's 6 sequels out of 10...somebody isn't trying very hard.
Okay, I lost my train of thought, so I guess that's about it for now.

Monday, June 25, 2007

Good news in a bad week.

Turns out Joe Strummer was half-Scottish.

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

It's June 20th

So Happy Birthday to me...

Monday, June 04, 2007

Memorial Day Weekend

So...over Memorial Day Weekend I took some time away from work and drove six hours down I-95 (does it have a nickname? "Boredom Alley" might work if it doesn't) to meet up with my best friend of 20 years* for a two day 25-30 mile hike. We drove another two hours to the Savage River State Forest in western Maryland and commenced to hiking.

Beauty of nature...lots of exercise...interesting "locals" (we were dangerously close to West Virginia after all)...the phrase "rugged intellectuals" was even uttered at one point.

Any-who...the larger point being that the hike was the longest time he and I have been able to spend together since we overlapped for one year in college (he finishing his BA, me making my first attempt at my MA) and it was great! I forgot what it was like to not need one's "inner monologue" at all!

We then returned to the Baltimore 'burbs where I got to know his two-year old daughter, enjoyed talking with his wife (whom I've known for two decades as well), and attended a Memorial Day "block party" sort of thing.

We've decided to make the hike an annual thing and I am gladdened by that.

Finally, I apologize, this post is terribly written. I had a great time bonding with my best pal and I blame the fact that the connection he and I have does not lend itself well to articulation.

*a topic for a later post maybe.

Monday, May 28, 2007

13.5 Games

Must...not...gloat...

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Jerry Fallwell

Pardon me while I shed not a single, solitary tear upon his passing.

Consider the following before you shed any of your own:

  • He often claimed to be a "Doctor" (of divinity one assumes), but he only possessed three honorary degrees- two from unaccredited institutions.
  • He was a segregationist.
  • He supported apartheid in South Africa.
  • He said the following about homosexuals: "AIDS is the wrath of a just God against homosexuals."
  • He believed all American schools should be run by the church, not the government.
  • He said the following about 9/11: I really believe that the pagans, and the abortionists, and th feminists, and the gays and the lesbians who are actively trying to make that an alternative lifestyle, the ACLU, People for the American Way, all of them who have tried to secularize America. I point the finger in their face and say 'you helped this happen.'"
Where, I ask you, is the "morality" in any of that?

Friday, May 04, 2007

Scottish National Party 47, Labour Party 46

Those days are past now,
And in the past
they must remain,
But we can still rise now,
And be the nation again,



And soon, it appears...

What?!

I was flipping by the first Republican debate and saw three of the candidates raise their hands in response to the question- and I paraphrase- "Who doesn't believe in evolution?"

In 2007, that's chilling.

Monday, April 30, 2007

Just to prove I'm getting old(er) and bitter(er)

A partial list of bands/artists I can do without:

-A.F.I.
-Lilly Allen
-The All American Rejects
-Arcade Fire
-Arctic Monkeys
-Bright Eyes
-Dashboard Confessional
-Death Cab For Cuite
-Fall Out Boy
-The Fray
-Gnarls Barkley
-Interpol
-Kaiser Chiefs
-The Killers
-Lady Sovereign
-LCD Soundsystem
-John Mayer
-Modest Mouse
-My Chemical Romance
-O.K. Go
-Panic at the Disco
-The Shins
-Snow Patrol
-Amy Winehouse


That'll do for now.

Thursday, April 26, 2007

Fox Soccer Channel

Let me begin by saying how thankful I am for the Fox Soccer Channel. I have to pay extra to get it on my cable plan, and I have to overlook the fact that it is owned by Rupert Murdoch, yet I still enjoy it immensely- so much so that its becoming a regular thing for me to get up earlier than usual on weekends to make sure that I can watch as much soccer as possible before going to work.

(wait for it...)

However, it has also reminded me of how bad announcing tandem, or in this case, a HORRIBLE announcing team, can ruin even the best match. I speak of "play-by-play" man Max Bretos and his partner, "the eclectic analyst with an ever-evolving accent"* Christopher Sullivan.

Mr. Bretos (also a commentator/interviewer for the WWE- I'll allow you to insert your own comment...) has one fundamental problem as an analyst- he doesn't know how to analyze! He generally spends ninety minutes overreacting to underwhelming on-field action, missing important action because he is too busy with other minutiae, interjecting barely-relevant trivia and non-sequitors, and being snarky and generally quite pleased with himself. Put more concisely, he's an ass.

Mr. Sullivan is equally bad, but much more intriguing.

I know enough about the beautiful game to know that Mr. Sullivan knows the beautiful game, which makes his work that much more frustrating. Mr. Sullivan played in a quality collegiate program, fashioned decent professional career for himself mainly in the pre-MLS period (no small achievement), and represented our country on almost twenty occasions. And yet... The best description I can give of his, ah, "problem," is that he sounds like a man trying to make himself understood on the more intricate points of the game in a language he has only recently learned to speak. His attempts to find appropriate vocabulary to make his points are something between Sisyphean and Tantalusian. The problem is exacerbated by his labored syntax and diction. His speech often reminds me of my high school days when my direct translations of German sentences into English looked something like, "He the ball kicked." Finally, his commentary is further garbled by his penchant for speaking what I can only describe as "Spangloguese."** Mr. Sullivan inists on putting much of his soccer specific knowledge into the various languages of which he may or may not have an understanding.*** To call something a "bicycle" or "overhead" kick is not enough, it must be a chileno. This would almost make sense if he used the foreign language terminology when he was commenting on a game from one of the relevant countries, but alas...

The combination of all of these things is that he sounds like somebody who has suffered a traumatic brain injury in the past, but whose friends and family now lovingly, proudly, and maybe a little patronizingly, say of him, "He's really doing quite well!" This is all the more troubling given that he is a native English speaker and a college graduate with a degree in business and finance!

I've got no end to this post except to say, there are plenty of great announcers out there who do work in the English language- Martin Tyler and John Motson come to mind.

I think this was my longest post ever.

*Credit for this apt description goes to Michael Connolly at ussoccerplayers.com

**His Spangloguese is sometimes supplemented by French and Italian- "Fretalian""

***Unlike English, I was able to find confirmation that he speaks Spanish and Italian.

Monday, April 23, 2007

Spring is here...

...and at the risk of sounding cheesy, it's a wonderful thing to sleep with the windows open, and better yet, being only a few footsteps from the Connecticut River, I can hear the low roar of the falls at the same time.

Very nice, indeed.

Thursday, April 12, 2007

EPL-USA

Not many people will care about the following, but I do.

After watching a few Champions League matches today, and the the EPL Review show I was impressed by how well American soccer was represented in what might be the best league in the world. Some may argue that over any given period there may be a better league (Serie A, the Bundesliga, the Primera Division, etc.), but at the moment three of the four teams still remaining in the Champions League are English and that, I feel, is a good barometer of league quality.

Here’s the breakdown:

Manchester United: No American players.
Chelsea: No American players.
Liverpool: No American players.
Arsenal: No American players.

Bolton Wanderers: One American player.
-Johann Smith: On loan to Carlisle United.

Everton: One American player.
-Tim Howard: Starting goalkeeper.

Tottenham Hotspur: No American Players.
Portsmouth: No American players.

Reading: Two American players.
-Marcus Hahnemann: Starting goalkeeper
-Bobby Convey: Currently injured.

Newcastle United: One American player.
-Oguchi Onyewu: on loan from Standard Liège.

Blackburn Rovers: One American player.
-Brad Friedel: Starting goalkeeper for the last seven years.

Manchester City: One American player.
-DaMarcus Beasley: on loan from PSV Eindhoven.

Middlesbrough: No American players.
Aston Villa: No American players.

Fulham: Three American players.
-Brian McBride: Team’s leading scorer.
-Carlos Bocanegra: Team’s second leading scorer.
-Clint Dempsey: A starting player as of late.

Wigan Athletic: No American players.

Charlton Athletic: One American player.
-Cory Gibbs: Rehabilitating a knee injury.

Sheffield United: No American players.

West Ham United: One American player.
-Jonathan Spector: Starting defender.

Watford: One American player.
-Jay DeMerit: Starting defender.

Thursday, April 05, 2007

The Funniest Thing I Read Today

This description of Canada appeared in an article on Gawker.com today: "...the large mass of semi-arable land blocking Montana's view of the Arctic..."

I actually have a lot of respect/love for "America-without-the-handguns," but that's just plain funny.

Monday, April 02, 2007

It's Opening Day!

On the 4oth anniversary of the "Impossible Dream" season I offer a little salute to my (and my Aunt's) favorite player ever.

How far does Red Sox Nation reach? My aunt has lived in Australia for almost 30 years and she still celebrates Yaz's birthday every August.

The first pitch is in half an hour...

... GO SOX!!

Sunday, April 01, 2007

The Sneaker Fetish...continues




Puma Tri-Sock running shoes: they're even more limey in person!


Adidas Forest Hills Vintage: to quote one of my favorite movies, they are "money."

Merrell Full Pursuit Gore-Tex XCR: they'd be awesome even if I hadn't paid about 25% of their actual price!

Saturday, March 24, 2007

Victory!


Young Craig Beattie scored in the 89th minute today to ensure that Scotland will remain tied for the top of its group regardless of what France does against Lithuania later today.

Scotland probably should have done better against a side like Georgia, but a win is a win is a win, and they move to 4-0-1 with for 12 points.

Up next a much sterner test later in the weak at Italy. An away draw would make for a successful trip, a away win against Italy would be magical!

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

I could smell it before I could see it


Today I was off running some errands.

While walking across a parking lot I smelled something wonderful. I stopped, lifted my head and looked around, and saw the source of the wonderful aroma- White Hut.

You can learn all about it at their website, but here are a couple of things that will give you a better idea of what the place is like.

First, it seems like everyone there is a regular- that's probably why they've been in business for almost 70 years.

Second, drinks only come in bottles and cans. Although, you can get ice water at the counter, and without anyone giving you a dirty look.

Third, the restroom doors say "Ladies" and "Gentlemen."

Finally, if a woman orders a hamburger, it is cut in half for her.

Sunday, March 11, 2007

Jam Band Felons 2.0

First Trey from Phish gets popped for having lots of painkillers in his car that didn't belong to him and now, John Popper, formerly of (despite-my-playing-the-harmonica-our-band-has nothing-to-do-with-the) Blues Traveler gets stopped in a car going 111mph, has weed in the vehicle, and has numerous guns hidden in custom built hidden compartments. His PR people are now spinning his gun-fetish as a result of him being an avid target shooter or something, but the original article quoted the arresting officer as saying that Popper made some comments about (and I'm paraphrasing) wanting to be prepared when the "end" came or something like that. This seems rather credible given the way the the guns were hidden.

Also- and keep in mind I don't wish death on anyone- it does make me smile a bit to know that Boston will never reunite.

Wednesday, March 07, 2007

$60.00

I took $60.00 out of the ATM machine today.

I now have $8.75.

I know exactly what I spent the money on- doing my laundry, buying dinner and lunch, and paying for a new battery and water seal for my watch- but somehow I still feel like something untoward has happened.

On the bright side, yesterday I went grocery shopping and paid $45.03 for a month's worth of groceries- leaving me almost $5.00 for other incidental food items I may need in the next four weeks.

I guess I'll call it a tie.

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Calling all Grammarians

Specifically, my aunt, I suppose. I heard a phrase the other day which, while it might be grammatically correct, struck me as nonsensical/a logical impossibility and would appreciate anyone who might like to either confirm my analysis or point out where I've gone wrong.

The phrase: "...a group of individuals..."

My problem with this is simple, if they are members of a group, how can they still be individuals?

Valentine's Day

If you noticed that there hasn't been a new post since the day before Valentine's Day you can go back to last year at this time for an explanation.

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Gruel...

...so I'm savin' up for a new bed and a new couch (I'll have most of the money put aside by this Friday), so I'm trying to save a little more money by being efficient around the casa.

So, today I emptied out the fridge/cupboard and made multiple meals out of:

-two cartons of beef broth
-part of a day-old baguette
-spices
-about a third of a jar of spaghettis sauce
-almost a full bag of baby carrots
-an onion
-garlic
-Chipotle Tabasco sauce
-rice

And you know what? It ain't have bad!

Yeesh!

Have you ever met one of those people who sings along with every song, laughs at every joke (funny or not), and probably thinks after every television commercial, "Yes, I do need that product"?

Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Word of the Day

"tablescape"

Oh, wait, that's not a word!! I guess, if you have your own sort-of cooking show, you can make up your own word! I don't have a show of any kind, but maybe I'll take a stab at making up my own word anyway- I'll even use it in a sentence.

"Later tonight, when I am tired, I'm going to climb into my sleepscape."

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

W-W-What?!

"(Kelly) Clarkson will likely release the new album in early 2007. One of the guest musicians on the album will be punk rock legend Mike Watt (Minutemen, Firehose, Iggy Pop & The Stooges), who contributes his bass skills to six tracks on the disc."

Didn't George Costanza once say something about "worlds colliding..."?

Sunday, January 14, 2007

I'm a few days late with this but...

...take that Mark McGwire

Thanks SNL!

Now I remember exactly why I don't like The Shins.

Wednesday, January 03, 2007

Good job, eh.

I draw your attention to the following news article out of Toronto:

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20070103/od_uk_nm/oukoe_uk_parents

I must say that sometimes the Puckheads show themselves to be a little more human and humane than we here in the States. I was particularly impressed by the judge's rational for his decision- maybe a child's happiness is more important than "tradition." No, not "maybe," definitely.

So, well done.

Tuesday, January 02, 2007

Good Movie, Bad Movie

Bubba Ho-Tep: I could not even begin to explain this movie to you. I'll simply say that when it was over I felt like Elvis (yes, that Elvis!) had regained some of the dignity he lost during the Las Vegas years. I was also thrilled to learn today that there is going to be a sequel.

The Producers: Ugh. The first one was H-Y-S-T-E-R-I-C-A-L-L-Y funny, the remake was painfully bad. I was reminded of all of the reasons that I dislike Nathan Lane, of why it puzzles me that anyone finds Uma Thurman attractive, and of the fact that Ferris Bue- er, Mathew Broderick, used to be funny.

Friday, December 22, 2006

For What It's Worth

Despite my comment about the cost of fixing my soon to-be-sold car* being a little negative, I would like to point something out to anyone who may still be reading my blog.

While there were (and are) those who questioned my sanity in leaving teaching (whether temporarily or permanently, I would like to point out to those people that my day-in-day-out sanity has greatly improved. In the recent past (less than two years ago), spending what amounts to an entire paycheck to fix a car I will be rid of within a few months would have devastated me and led to much self-loathing, hopelessness, and general depression. Instead, I just thought to myself, "Aww...f***." and moved on with my life.

Finally, if you're still out there, Diane, thanks for your support of my decision, you're the only one who never questioned me and I appreciate that greatly.

*which is only being sold because my grandmother's death has resulted in the opportunity to get a car which is four years newer and has 140,000 fewer miles on it. My car has be GREAT to me and overall, it's cost me almost nothing in upkeep. And, I'll admit, I'll miss it a lot.

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Thank You Nick Tosches!

I'm currently reading Nick Tosches' In the Hand of Dantes - I think I like it, at least the more linear story line, but I'm a little luke-warm on the more Dante-related story line. But I digress...

Despite many attempts to explain to various people (colleagues, girlfriends, etc.) why I just can't stand poetry, I've never felt like I've quite hit the proverbial nail on the head. I've known what I meant, but I haven't been particularly articulate about it.

Thankfully, however, when one reads as much as I do, one occasionally come across the perfect words written in another's hand. Thus, I will let Mr. Tosches- via his criticism of Dante's Commedia- make my point for me.

"Dante had chosen a cage of rhyme and meter so confining that no majestic creation could survive within it, so often did it necessitate unnatural affectation to accommodate structure, so often were soul and beauty and power sacrificed to sustain the structure of the work, as might be done by one so cold as to value artfulness above art. As no beautiful wild bird born to soar free could survive in a cage, so it was with the beautiful wild bird of his poem."

Lie Back And Think Of England...

I spent over $700 today on a car that I'll be selling within the next two months...and I'll probably need to spend that much more on it in the next few months.

ugh.

Saturday, December 16, 2006

This made me happy...

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/1215062trey1.html

Thursday, December 07, 2006

ARRRRRRGHHHHH!!

How many more times am I going to go to the grocery store and forget to buy peanut butter?

I even bring a list with me most times!

:(

Monday, November 27, 2006

Quote of the Day

It's been a long time since I've had a "Quote of the Day" here on my blog, but rereading one of my old favorites brought me to a quote that I absolutely love. So, from Raymond Chandler's "The Simple Art of Murder," I give you...

"The English may not always be the best writers in the world, but they are incomparably the best dull writers."

An interesting fact about...me!

Only one person has ever noticed- without having it pointed out to them first- that I have a permanent limp.

I don't know if that's good, bad, or completely meaningless.

Today's Mail

I've never seen so much packed into my mailbox...and I threw everything but the Campmor catalog away. What a disappointment.

Thanksgiving 2006

Mostly boring and kind of sad.

Friday, November 17, 2006

A Hungarian You Should Know

Ferenc Puskas died today...look him up.

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Pickin' Out Some Drapes!

Wow, this is almost too good!

-A majority of the governorships.
-A majority in the House.
-A majority in the Senate (as soon as the GOP concedes VA).

AND

-Rumsfeld is gone.

Pardon me if I spend the majority of my time today smirking.

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

The Midterm Elections

Having now cast my vote I reserve the right to complain long and loud about anything I wish.

If you did not vote today I invite you to shut the hell up.

Friday, November 03, 2006

Update: Concerts

Shhh...this list isn’t COMPLETELY recycled!! I’ve been to a few more shows, and remembered a few more bands I’ve seen so I thought I’d add them! I also expanded some of the entries. I’ve also added the venues that I can remember.

Here they are, at least the ones I can remember without too much effort:

The Alarm: By far the best live band I've ever seen (five times?), you either saw them or you didn't, there's no point in trying to explain it. Check out the "Electric Folklore: Live" CD- I was there for all of the Boston shows on it! (Orpheum Theater and Wang Center in Boston)

The Proclaimers: Seen them three times- once in a space so small that it was almost awkward! The other two times were on consecutive nights in Boston and NYC. Love 'em. (The Paradise in Boston, B.B. King’s in NYC, and some little “downstairs” place in Greenwich Village)

Live: I saw them twice, once before they even had an album out- nevermind before Ed got all spiritual and again after they’d gotten “big.” Considering how young they were, they were REALLY good. (Moravian College, Bethlehem, PA and the Saratoga Performing Arts Center in Saratoga Springs, NY)

The Ramones: I saw them twice. One of the times I got to work security and spent the night kneeling on the edge of the stage and getting smacked in the back by Johnny's guitar- it was great! Before the show they were eating bananas and Domino’s Pizza while arguing about old New York Giant football players. (Memorial Union Building, University of New Hampshire, Durham, NH, and somewhere I don’t remember!)

Husker Du: On the Warehouse tour. The end was nigh. They played the whole album in sequence, then came back for a one song encore (Helter Skelter). It was great! Loudest show I've ever been to! (Orpheum Theater, Boston)

Bob Mould: Seen him twice. First one was great. Second one was, ah, well, Bob, I appreciate you trying something new...and um, I'm PERFECTLY okay with your sexuality, so enough with the the backdrop showing pictures of leather boys! (Saratoga Winners, Cohoes, NY & Berklee Performance Center, Boston, MA)

Midnight Oil: Great show, but Peter Garrett is the worst/strangest "dancer" I've ever seen! (Lehigh University, Bethlehem, PA)

Stevie Ray Vaughan: I saw him twice. If I've ever witnessed "genius", it was watching him play guitar. (Centrum, Worcester, MA & Northeastern University, Boston, MA)

George Thorogood: Seen him five or more times. Like TMBG he tours all the time and the shows are cheap. He isn't Mozart, but he puts on a good show. (Providence, RI & multiple times at Club Casino, Hampton Beach, NH)

They Might Be Giants: I've seen them so many times I stopped counting. Not that they are my favorite band, but they are good, they are always on tour in the Northeast and always at places with reasonable prices. (SUNY-Albany, Albany, NY, Saratoga Winners, Cohoes, NY, and more)

Violent Femmes: Co-headlined one of the TMBG shows I went to- I got paid to see it! I would have gone anyway, but who's going to say “no” to that!? (SUNY-Albany, Albany, NY)

The Donnas: Small club, as good/better live as on their albums, and, you know, Brett's hot. (The Paradise, Boston, MA)

Black '47: Well, the Pogues had broken up, Shane wasn't touring, Flogging Molly hadn't made it to the East coast yet, and it was March 17th. They're good, Larry just tries too hard sometimes. A good show, but it was in an “Irish” bar and was almost ruined by those who were “being Irish” for the day and a lot of big-haired secretary types. (Stamford, CT)

Morrissey: He was, well, Morrissey. He ended his encore halfway through when the people mobbing the stage got too be a little too much for him- he's very sensitive. (Red Bank, NJ)

The Sheila Divine: They opened the Morrissey show. One of the best opening acts I've ever seen- actually bought their CD on my way out of the show. (Red Bank, NJ)

Chuck Berry: Elvis who? (Chesire Fairgrounds, Swanzey, NH)

Roy Orbison: The voice. What a voice. (Chesire Fairgrounds, Swanzey, NH)

James Brown: Sadly this was during his PCP phase, so it was mostly mumble lyrics in between dance moves. (Chesire Fairgrounds, Swanzey, NH)

Carl Perkins: Sadly underappreciated, part of Rock and Roll's foundation. But what a bad toupee! (Chesire Fairgrounds, Swanzey, NH)

Brian Setzer: Saw him during the big band phase, which was fine, but I prefer the more true rockabilly vibe. (Albany, NY)

The Toasters: Good show. Had to laugh when I realized that the guy who was taking and selling tickets at the door turned out to be the lead singer! (Pearl Street, Northampton, MA)

Public Image Limited: Fine, I went because I wanted to see Johnny, not so much because P.I.L. were great (they were “interesting” to "pretty good") but so did everyone else! (Orpheum Theater, Boston, MA)

Billy Bragg: Twice, both good. Got lucky at one because he was touring with Bare Naked Ladies and he went on first- so I didn't have to sit through them! (The Egg, Albany, NY)

The Reverend Horton Heat: Seen him twice, puts on a great show and usually has a good opening act. (Pearl Street, Northampton, MA)

The Amazing Royal Crowns: Opened for the Reverend Horton Heat, along with the Sheila Divine, one of a few good opening acts I’ve seen. (Pearl Street, Northampton, MA)

Social Distortion: It only took me twenty years to get around to seeing them- it was worth the wait! (Poughkeepsie, NY)

Flogging Molly: As good as I expected them to be. This concert has now provided me with the worst opening bad I've ever seen, ZOX. (Lupo's Heartbreak Hotel, Providence, RI)

Sunday, October 29, 2006

Well Done!

Teddy Sheringham scored the first of West Ham United's two goals in their 2-1 win over Blackburn Rovers today.

He scored his first professional goal in 1984.

The End

Here are some people I've had enough of- the limit came a long time ago for some of them, but I've never made a list of them yet.

Madonna: when you moved to England I wasn't supposed to have to hear about you any more.
Michael Vick: you might be a great athlete, but you're never going to win the Super Bowl.
Dennis Miller: From hysterically funny to Rush Limbaugh, Jr. Just sad.
Chris Berman: You've gone from slightly annoying and cheesy to ubiquitous and obnoxious.
Oprah Winfrey: Has there been a cult of personality like this since Stalin? Mao?
Terrell Owens: He makes me wish Jack Tatum was still playing. (Look him up)

More to come later...

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

It's been a while...

...so here are some more things I can't stand!

-clogs of any kind.
-greeting cards that say anything inside.
-polo shirts regardless of brand.
-Oprah and Dr. Phil
-turquoise and silver jewelry.
-Coldhead, or is it Radioplay, I can't keep them straight.
-non-Apple computers.
-people who think knitting is hip.

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

A best one-liner I've heard in quite a while

"Dude, he's Jersey, he skis in his jeans!"

Friday, October 20, 2006

This makes me smile

On his tour of the Scottish Highlands Dr. Samuel Johnson remarked to James Boswell that in England oats were given to horses and not to men. To which Boswell responded:

"Which is why England is noted for its horses and Scotland for its men."

nuff said.

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Dear Emo kids...

...I'm the last person in the world who is going to tell you what to wear (though I've just about reached my limit on boys wearing girls jeans and too tight not-really-vintage t-shirts) or how to cut your hair or to stop rocking the Buddy Holly glasses or that white belts (even if they have metal studs) are for old men who've retired to Florida, but please, please, I'm begging you, EAT!

More thoughts on grammar

I'm pretty sure that my IQ drops a few points whenever I hear somebody say, "...often times..."

How is that in any way different than simply saying, "often"?

Just wondering.

Saturday, October 07, 2006

Scotland 1 France 0











O Flower of Scotland,
When will we see
Your like again,
That fought and died for,
Your wee bit Hill and Glen,
And stood against him,
Proud Edward's Army,
And sent him homeward,
Tae think again.

The Hills are bare now,
And Autumn leaves
lie thick and still,
O'er land that is lost now,
Which those so dearly held,
That stood against him,
Proud Edward's Army,
And sent him homeward,
Tae think again.

Those days are past now,
And in the past
they must remain,
But we can still rise now,
And be the nation again,
That stood against him,
Proud Edward's Army,
And sent him homeward,
Tae think again.

0 Flower of Scotland,
When will we see
your like again,
That fought and died for,
Your wee bit Hill and Glen,
And stood against him,
Proud Edward's Army,
And sent him homeward,
Tae think again.

Scotland v. France

Tomorrow is a HUGE day for the Tartan Army.

A loss would hurt, but not yet be crippling (though it might seem that way down the road).

A draw would result in a fist pump and a belief that Scotland might actually be able to qualify for Euro 2008.

A win would cause me to pass out. The odds of reviving me afterward would be about 50/50.

C'MON SCOTLAND!!

Friday, October 06, 2006

Dear Robin Williams...

...it's over. I wish you health, happiness, and sobriety, but your "act" is just done. I think there was a time when you were funny, though it seems longer and longer ago each time I see you hamming it up, and up, and up.

So, good luck with the rest of your life, but please, you're making me uncomfortable.

Monday, October 02, 2006

Again, work on your vocabulary!

I don't know what it is about football commentators, but I find myself having to point out that "Anecdote" and "Antidote" have different meanings.

yeesh.

Saturday, September 30, 2006

007

Being that it's almost time for the debut of Daniel Craig as the new James Bond I thought, as a fan, I'd offer my opinions on those who were not chosen as the next 007. Two things to keep in mind as you read. 1) There is only one James Bond, and that is Sean Connery, and 2) I'm perfectly fine with the choice of Daniel Craig, I think he bring a long-lost toughness back to the role. So, setting Craig, Daniel Craig, aside, here is my ranking of the other candidates whose names were bandied about along with three of my own suggestions (in red).

Oh, and just so you can see where I'm coming from, here is my ranking of those who have played Bond in the past.

1. Sean "Big Tam" Connery
2. Pierce Brosnan
3. George Lazenby
4. Roger Moore
5. Timothy Dalton

1. Ewan McGregor: This is the choice that should have been made. A fine actor, he has a dark side, and he's Scottish.*

2. Kevin McKidd: If the producers were comfortable going "James Blonde," McKidd would have been my first choice. He's great on HBO's "Rome"- tough yet vulnerable- and, yes, Scottish.

3. Clive Owen: Perhaps the best of the non-Scottish actors to be suggested for the role. In my mind he'd been in the running since he starred in "Croupier."

4. Hugh Jackman: He comes off as a bit too rough and ready, but with a little help from Miss Manners and a good tuxedo, I could see this working.

5. Ioan Gruffud: He'd need to bulk up a bit, but I could probably go for this choice. He's a quality actor and there just something really likable about him.

6. Alastair Mackenzie: He'd have to loose the dodgy haircut he had on "Monarch of the Glen," but otherwise, I think he could do it...and Scottish.

7. Orlando Bloom: Maybe next time, right now, too young.

8. Matthew McFadyen: He's already appeared in a spy-related series on the Beeb ("Spooks") in which he/his character demonstrated the ability to be the cold professional. Might work.

9. Gerard Bulter: Might have been okay in the role, maybe the "poor man's" Ewan McGregor... and Scottish.

10. Jude Law: Er, I like him, but I just don't see it. A bit too "precious" for my tastes and whether he is in life or not, on screen he looks physically small.

11. Jason Statham: I like him, I've enjoyed his movies, but he's just a bit too thuggish- barely less of a neanderthal than Vinnie Jones.

12. Eric Bana: Nope. I liked him as the Hulk, but I was not too impressed with his acting "chops," even in "Munich."

13. Heath Ledger: Um, no.

14. Colin Firth: A great actor, but he would have made his Bond debut when he was five years older than Connery was when he bowed out. And I don't see him as a "man of action."

15. Hugh Grant: I thought this was a joke, but numerous online searches returned his name as one possibility. Concisely put, one Roger Moore was one Roger Moore too many.

*Important as Bond, in Ian Fleming's books, was half-Scottish and half-Swiss.

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

See, my dad was an English teacher...

...so during football season when I'm watching SportsCenter and one of the announcers, hosts, pundits, etc. refers to the NFL team from Jacksonville, FL as the "JAG-wires" I start to develop multiple facial tics. What they are talking about is:

a large spotted feline, Panthera onca, of tropical America, having a tawny coat with black rosettes: now greatly reduced in number and endangered in some areas.

This word has- count them!- three acceptable pronunciations.

1. JAG-wahr
2. JAG-yoo-ahr
3. JAG-you-er (esp. by snooty English-types talking about cars)

NONE of these are a combination of "jag," meaning "a sharp projection on an edge or surface," OR, "wire," meaning "a slender, stringlike piece or filament of relatively rigid or flexible metal."

Thank you for your time.

Monday, September 18, 2006

Best Songs

Here's a few that I came up with as a result of one scroll through my iTunes library. Feel free to offer alternative choices for any of them, or new categories for me to investigate!

Creepiest: “Country Death Song” by Violent Femmes

Most Uplifting: “Brand New Start” by Paul Weller

Anti-Vanilla Ice: “Pop Goes The Weasel” by 3rd Bass

‘It’s Over': “The Thrill Is Gone” by B.B. King

Self-Pitying: “Nobody Loves Me But My Mother- and She May Be Jivin’ too”

Ska: “Ranking Full Stop” by The English Beat

Sinatra: “One for My Baby” by Frank Sinatra

Remake of Sinatra: “My Way” by Sid Vicious

Post Break-Up: “Don’t Want to know if you are lonely” Husker Du

Most Vivid Imagery: “That’s Entertainment” The Jam

Really Long: “Minstrel Boy” by Joe Strummer and the Mescaleros

Most Remorseful: “Hurt” by Johnny Cash

Duet: “Redemption Song” by Johnny Cash and Joe Strummer

Sexiest: “Top Floor, Bottom Buzzer” by Morphine

Christmas “Fairytale of New York” by the Pogues & Kristy MacColl

About Scotland “Scotland’s Story” by the Proclaimers

Punk featuring Bagpipe “Will you nae come back again?” The Real McKenzies

Defiant: “Angel’s Wings” by Social Distortion

Acoustic Bass Solo: “Never Tell” by Violent Femmes

Saturday, September 16, 2006

Sorry Folks!

I know there hasn't been much to see here recently, my apologies for that. Put it down to a couple of busy work weeks and the usual mental health suspects.

On the bright side, my PlayStation skills are growing very sharp!

Saturday, September 09, 2006

Saturday Night

I think I'm going to turn on my PlayStation and wait for what's left of my mind to be lost.

Thursday, September 07, 2006

Two down!



Scotland beat Lithuania today to move to 2-0 in Euro 2008 qualifying and retain a share of first place in its group. I'm not going to get too excited yet, but if we keep beating the teams we should beat and can manage to draw with the better teams, we may have a shot at actually making the tournament!

Saturday, September 02, 2006

Sweet Victory I


The Euro 2008 qualifying matches got underway today and Scotland are off to a flying start with a 6-0 victory over the Faroe Islands. Sub-par opponents to be sure, but three points are three points and six goals with go a long way toward helping Scotland's goal differential. Lithuania (who drew with France today) are next up on Wednesday. A win there would make the situation look a lot brighter when the time comes to face France, Italy, and Ukraine.

Sweet Victory II

The movie I wanted to see today started at 11:55am and I needed to be at work at 2:00pm. Thus, it was too early to eat lunch beforehand, and there would not be enough to do so after the movie. Therefore, my only option was to, once again, show the movie theater industry that I hold them, as Jonathan Edwards once preached, "...over the pit of hell, much as one holds a spider or some loathsome insect over the fire," and that I look upon them "as worthy of nothing else but to be cast into the bottomless gulf."

Or, put another way...

I snuck a foot long chicken parmesan sub into the theater.

Thank you.

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Glenn Ford

Glenn Ford, who played strong, thoughtful protagonists in films such as "The Blackboard Jungle," "Gilda" and "The Big Heat," died Wednesday, police said. He was 90.

Paramedics called to Ford's home just before 4 p.m. found Ford dead, police Sgt. Terry Nutall said, reading a prepared statement. "They do not suspect foul play," he said.

Ford suffered a series of strokes in the 1990s.

Failing health forced him to skip a 90th birthday tribute on May 1 at Hollywood's historic Grauman's Egyptian Theatre. But he did send greetings via videotape, adding, "I wish I were up and around, but I'm doing the best that I can.... There's so much I have to be grateful for."

At the event, Shirley Jones, who co-starred with him in the comedy "The Courtship of Eddie's Father," called Ford "one of the cornerstones of our industry, and there aren't many left."

Ford appeared in scores of films during his 53-year Hollywood career. The Film Encyclopedia, a reference book, lists 85 films from 1939 to 1991.

He was cast usually as the handsome tough, but his acting talents ranged from romance to comedy. His more famous credits include "Superman," "Gilda," "The Sheepman," "The Gazebo," "Pocketful of Miracles" and "Don't Go Near the Water."

Saturday, August 26, 2006

Soliciting Advice

I need a vacation. I have a "general" need for one, but as several of you know, there are some "specific" reasons that I need one as well. Plus, and I'm man enough to admit this, I'm pretty tough to get along with at the moment.

However, it will be at least seven weeks before I could take a vacation of any "meaningful" (a week or so) duration.

Does anyone have a suggestions?

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

UPDATE: Me and my big mouth

Well, it went as well as it could have gone, and now it's done. Going forward, things will be easier- I hope.

Sunday, August 20, 2006

Me and my big mouth

Tuesday I will make the long drive to my parents house, where, I will have dinner with my parents and my brother and sister, and when that is over, the awkwardness will begin.

At my suggestion we are having a family "conference" to decide the best way to give my mother a life that involves something other than looking after my father...and his worsening Parkinson's Disease.

And the best(?) part, it was all my idea. I'll let you know how it all turns out.

Mid-debacle

My beloved Red Sox have embarrassed themselves three times in the last two days. Worst still, they have have done so against the hated Yankees.

Gentlemen, have you no shame? It would be one thing if you'd gone down fighting and kept each of the games close, but no, you allowed the Evil Empire to put up football-like scores against you.

Worst of all, however, you went into these games with a losing mind-set. Jason Johnson as the starting pitcher in the opening game- wow. No offense to the man himself, he pitches with an insulin pump on his belt, but if that's the best they have to offer, it's over.

Tomorrow is another day, but yikes!

Am I a bad person?

In our increasingly politically correct world I am sure to be pilloried for the following comment, but I just can't keep it in any more:

Hillary Swank looks like a horse.

She's a phenomenal actress (I loved "Million Dollar Baby"), but some how I think that because of the subject matter of "Boys Don't Cry" I am expected to worship her and all that she does.

Let me put a finer point on it...she looks more like a horse than Julia Roberts.

And with that, I'm off to enroll in sensitivity classes.

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Everyone else seems to have an opinion on it, so...

...I thought I'd weigh in.

1ST AMENDMENT

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

Well, we appear to pretty much be a theocracy at this point, so I don't need to talk about the first part. Freedom of speech? Not gone yet, but not exactly in a hale and hearty state. Freedom of the press? The press seems to be functioning as an American version of Pravda, or is threatened with jail if it isn't willing to go along with the government. Peaceable assembly? Sure, as long as you don't mind being filmed and watched from that point forward. Redress of grievances? Kind of tough when one party controls all three branches of the government...

2ND AMENDMENT

A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms shall not be infringed.

Okay, now that a "well regulated Militia" is no longer "necessary to the security of [our] free state," this amendment seems not to apply any more. Even if it does, there's a big difference between a "well regulated Militia" and every getting to have as many guns as they want to have for any purpose they for which they choose to use them.

3RD AMENDMENT

No Soldier shall, in time of peace be quartered in any house, without the consent of the Owner, nor in time of war, but in a manner to be prescribed by law.

See, the news isn't all bad! We've actually stuck to this one!

4TH AMENDMENET

The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no Warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by Oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized.

Stick a fork in this one, it's done. Apparently the government no longer needs warrants, probable cause, or any of the other nuisances described by the Founding Fathers. Don't believe me? Think about this: did the government go to a judge to get permission to listen to every phonecall in the USA- including yours?

5TH AMENDMENT

No person shall be held to answer for a capital, or otherwise infamous crime, unless on a presentment or indictment of a Grand Jury, except in cases arising in the land or naval forces, or in the Militia, when in actual service in time of War or public danger; nor shall any person be subject for the same offence to be twice put in jeopardy of life or limb; nor shall be compelled in any criminal case to be a witness against himself, nor be deprived of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor shall private property be taken for public use, without just compensation.

It says, "No person," NOT, no "US citizen," so how do we justify keeping people in prison in Cuba without the "presentment or indictment of a Grand Jury?" I'm not even suggesting that the prisoners in Gitmo are innocent, but we still have to follow the rules. The rules, by the way, that WE wrote!!

6TH AMENDMENT

In all criminal prosecutions, the accused shall enjoy the right to a speedy and public trial, by an impartial jury of the State and district wherein the crime shall have been committed, which district shall have been previously ascertained by law, and to be informed of the nature and cause of the accusation; to be confronted with the witnesses against him; to have compulsory process for obtaining witnesses in his favor, and to have the Assistance of Counsel for his defense.

I might be missing information on one or two of these points, but I'm pretty sure that the "detainees" in Camp Delta (formerly Camp X-Ray) have been denied each and every one of these rights. I'm tempted to say something about a slippery slope here, but I'll hold off for now.

7TH AMENDMENT

In suits at common law, where the value in controversy shall exceed twenty dollars, the right of trial by jury shall be preserved, and no fact tried by a jury, shall be otherwise reexamined in any Court of the United States, than according to the rules of the common law.

Hmm...setting aside our tendency to sue anyone for anything, we're doing okay with this one. See, MORE good news!

8TH AMENDMENT

Excessive bail shall not be required, nor excessive fines imposed, nor cruel and unusual punishments inflicted.

Alright, let's see, in most cases we're doing okay on the bail aspect- if anything we set it too low too often. Excessive fines? Certainly not if it's a corporation or a Republican donor. "Cruel and unusual punishments?" I refer you to my comments on the 5th and 6th Amendments.

9TH AMENDMENT

The enumeration in the Constitution, of certain rights, shall not be construed to deny or disparage others retained by the people.

Wow! This one might as well have a second clause which says, "Unless of course it suits your partisan agenda to deny or disparage any rights not enumerated in the Constitution. The idea behind this amendment is a good one, but it's become the red-headed step child of the Bill of Rights.

10TH AMENDMENT

The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the states, are reserved to the states respectively, or to the people.

I'm not sure this amendment could be anymore straight-forward, and yet it seems so difficult for so many to understand. Let me give you an easy example of how it works. If the state of Massachusets wants to allow for same-sex marriage, there is NOTHING the federal government can do about it. First, no power "delegated to the United States by the Consittution" forbids it. Second, nothing in the Consitution "prohibits" the states from exercising power on this matter. Third, the right to determine it's views on same-sex marriage is "reserved to the states." Finally, to bring my opinions into a nice, neat circle: if you oppose same-sex marriage on religious grounds, that is your right. But, the same 1st Amendment that grants you that freedom (
"...or prohibiting the free exercise thereof"), prevents you from using the government to put it into practice- "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion."

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

A philosophy I can get behind

Anthony Bourdain's summation of his visit to Bali:

"I want to stay here and eat pig until I pass out."

Mmm...pork...

Sunday, June 18, 2006

USA v. Italy

Much better boys, much better. Especially under the circumstances. Now beat Ghana and give yourselves a chance to move on.

Thursday, June 15, 2006

Quote of the Day

Cornell Woolrich on why he wrote:

"I was only trying to cheat death. I was only trying to surmount for a little while the darkness that all my life I surely knew was going to come rolling in on me some day and obliterate me. I was only trying to stay alive a brief while longer, after I was already gone."

Take that "real" literature.

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Gracias Espana, Gracias!

Thanks to Spain's 4-0 drubbing of Ukraine today (and I thought it was going to be a good match!) the USA's embarrassing 3-0 loss to the Czech Republic the other day is no longer the worst defeat in this year's World Cup.

All of this, assumes however, that the USA gives a better effort against Italy on Saturday. Otherwise, I might have to rewrite this post.

Monday, June 12, 2006

This is why I like soccer

Mexico 3, Iran 1
By STEVE BRISENDINE, AP Sports Writer

NUREMBERG, Germany (AP) -- Mexico's raucous crowd left the stadium singing and chanting in red, green and white waves of unbridled joy. Oswaldo Sanchez, still mourning the death of a father who dreamed of watching him play in the World Cup, left the field with a smile.

Iran, meanwhile, missed a chance to replace talk of political turmoil with discussion of its on-field success.


Hours after the echoes of a protest against Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad's regime faded in this Bavarian city, Iran had hoped to salvage at least one point from its World Cup opener on Sunday.

Mexico, whose goalkeeper had to fly home on Thursday to bury his father, had other ideas, scoring twice in the last 15 minutes for a 3-1 victory.

El Tri's players rushed to hug Sanchez, who rejoined them Saturday night.

Brazilian-born midfielder Zinha, who scored Mexico's third goal, said the team dedicated the win to "our great friend Oswaldo, who is a great person."

"What courage to go through such a difficult thing and then represent your country like it's supposed to be done," said Zinha, also known as Antonio Naelson.

Felipe Sanchez died of a heart attack on Wednesday while preparing to come to Germany to watch his son play.

"It was my dad's dream for me to be here, playing in the World Cup, and I am happy," Sanchez said through a translator.

The 32-year-old keeper made two previous World Cup trips, in 1998 and 2002, but was a reserve.

Sanchez, given flowers and condolences from the Iranian team before the match, turned in a solid outing just 24 hours after returning from Mexico -- so much so that Mexico coach Ricardo Lavolpe said the keeper appeared "to have an angel watching over him."

Iran coach Branko Ivankovic was left to explain how his team fell apart late in the second half -- and whether politics had cast a shadow on the field.

"Nobody is allowed to discuss politics," Ivankovic said at the postgame news conference. "We are allowed to discuss the opponent, to discuss football, and in this case, to discuss Mexico."

There was plenty to discuss about that, too, namely, how Iran's late-game lapses turned the Mexican fans' bored whistles into cheers.

"Maybe the players thought that after two or three substitutions, Mexico is going to be much easier or something," Ivankovic said.

Instead, Mexico cracked open Iran's defense.

Omar Bravo's second goal of the match, in the 76th minute, put Mexico up 2-1. Three minutes later, two second-half substitutions hooked up for the clincher when Zinha headed in Francisco Fonseca's cross.

"In the first half, everyone was very nervous," Lavolpe said through a translator. "We weren't getting possession of the ball. In the second half, the team stabilized. We had more possession and that's why we won the game."

At home in Mexico City, thousands of Mexicans wearing hats, soccer jerseys and body paint in the national colors swarmed the streets and the main plaza, chanting "Angola's next! We're going to beat them."

Mexico plays Angola on Friday in Hanover, and after Sunday's win, El Tri has solidified its status as a favorite to advance out of Group D, which also includes Portugal.

After trading goals in the first half, Iran dropped as many as five defenders back from the 60th minute on. The strategy worked until defender Yahya Golmohammedi, who scored the equalizer in the 36th minute, made a bad pass.

Zinha fed the ball up the middle to Bravo, who beat goalkeeper Ebrahim Mirzapour for the go-ahead goal. Mirzapour's poor clearing kick set up the scoring sequence for the Mexicans.

Mexico's set pieces failed to come together early in the match, but paid off in the 28th minute after a foul by Iran's Ali Karimi.

Pavel Pardo's free kick from the right side found Guillermo Franco in the box. Franco cleverly headed the ball to Bravo lurking virtually unmarked near the back goalpost. He gave it a right-footed tap past forward Vashid Hashemian and Mirzapour for a 1-0 lead.

Iran's equalizer was a textbook bit of opportunism by Golmohammedi. Mexican Sanchez could only deflect Hashemian's close-in header off Karimi's corner kick, and Golmohammedi took the ball at the top of the area and fired it just under the crossbar into the roof netting.

Jared Borgetti, who led all scorers in qualifying with 14 goals and is Mexico's top career scorer with 38 international goals, was limping when he came off in the 52nd minute and had his left thigh briefly examined by the team's trainers.

It was only the second victory for Mexico in a World Cup game in Europe, the other coming 3-1 over South Korea in a 1998 opener.

There were 45 fouls in the game, 26 on Mexico.

"I don't know why," Lavolpe said. "I have to see the video. That might just mean that the two teams tried to stop the play by fouling."