Dear Emo kids...

...I'm the last person in the world who is going to tell you what to wear (though I've just about reached my limit on boys wearing girls jeans and too tight not-really-vintage t-shirts) or how to cut your hair or to stop rocking the Buddy Holly glasses or that white belts (even if they have metal studs) are for old men who've retired to Florida, but please, please, I'm begging you, EAT!