What does that mean? It means that while we don't have to like each other, if our society is going to continue to exist, we at least have to control ourselves just a wee bit. For example:
- There is no reason for you to stand so close to me in the checkout at the grocery store that I can feel you breathing on the back of my neck. Seriously, no hyperbole here at all, I could feel the woman's breath. Did I mention that I was at the self-checkout line?
- Speaking of the checkout line, who still writes a check at the grocery store?! Seriously, it's 2010, you can get an ATM card which deducts funds directly from your checking account! I'm sure if you send your bank a telegram they will dispatch one of these magical cards to you by the next available mail coach.
- You can ride my back bumper as much as you want, it won't make the car in front of me go any faster.
- Your two-footed, studs-up tackle that took out both of my legs and drew blood from one of my ankles was uncalled for in any game, but especially a pick-up soccer game. Please note that, when I was eventually able to stand up, I shook your hand and told you "don't worry about it." Just because you think you live in "Thunderdome" doesn't mean I have to join you there.
- Earlier this week I went to see George Clooney's new movie, "The American." I quite enjoyed it. The consensus of those exiting the theater with me, however, included comments like, "All the good stuff was in the trailer..." and "There was barely any action!" I guess I was mistaken in thinking that it was a well-crafted, thoughtful film, that raised a lot of interesting questions that are usually lost amid the car chases and explosions.
- Sitting in your beat-up van by yourself with the dome light on at 4:30am is creepy under any circumstances. Doing it in a van that is full of all of your "hoarding" materiel in the parking lot of the building from which you were evicted because of what your hoarding did to your apartment? SUPER-creepy.
- The way to return from six weeks on paid administrative leave because of your bi-polar disorder is not to work a day, call-in sick the next day, then leave after half a day on your third day. Furthermore, upon returning from your time away it's pretty bad form to spend that third day talking about how excited you are to take a vacation before the end of the month. I may be taking a vacation next spring- in case you were wondering.
Thank you for your time and attention.
