Once and for all.

I know this makes people think, I don't know- that I'm a robot, that I was raised by a Luddites*, or that I suffered some sort of trauma(s) as a youngster, but...

1. Despite being a very early reader (before I started kindergarten) I did not like children's books as a child (or now for that matter). Please stop asking me if I read "The Aventures of Honker and Pinball in the Land of Candy and Unicorns," or whatever- I didn't. Would you like know what I read? Here's an instructive anecdote..

The scene: The gift shop at historic Gettysburg Battlefield as my grandmother puts a book on the checkout counter c. 1975.

Clerk: "And who is this for?"

Gram: "It's for him." Pointing down to me (though not too far, she was only 5'0" tall)

Clerk: "Oh. You know this is not a children's book, don't you?"

Gram: "I do, but it's the one he wanted."

Clerk: "I think he's going to have a hard time with it..."

Gram: "I don't think so- why don't you ask him a few questions about Gettysburg- or the Civil War in general?"

I'll stop here and summarize by saying the clerk got "pwn3d." (That's what the kids say, right?)

(A very similar scene took place at the Museum of Science in Boston around the same time, but involving a book about dinosaurs that had more text than pictures.)

2. I don't like holiday TV specials- regardless of the holiday. The only reason I've seen any of them is because my younger siblings always wanted to watch them and we only had one television when we were young so I was left with no choice. What's that? "What about A Christmas Story, surely you liked that!?" Nope, not at all. You'd need a gun or a lot of money to watch it again.

Thanks for letting me clear that up. Now let's talk about something interesting!

*this could be partially true- Thanks, Dad! ;)