May 31

Wow.

A pretty miserable day today.

I thought for a few hours that I was going to let it get to me, but I guess I just decided that it wasn't worth it.

Thankfully I have a lot to look forward to in the next six weeks or so.

• working towards a new career
• having dinner with an old friend
• my birthday
• a pig roast

Oh, and there will be a HUGE post (easily my longest ever) coming in the next few days.

See you soon...

Happy Birthday!!

Jimmy Stewart would have been 100 years old today!

I'm okay now...I think.

For the last two days I have been as sick as I have ever been in my life. Wow. Not good.

However, it appears I am on the mend, so more, bigger, better(?) posts to follow.

HIking in Maryland

I'm just back from my yearly hike with my best friend, Dan. Once again I trekked down to Maryland, which is about as boring a six hour drive as you could take in this country.

This year we hiked in Cunningham Falls State Park and Catoctin National Park. This year's hike was shorter than last year's, but there was much less flat ground, and what there was was studded with rocks- a bit rough on the feet. And, as you can see from my friend's boots, it was a little rough on some of the equipment. Luckily, I brought enough duct tape to get him through the last six miles of the hike.

I am happy to say that next year Dan will be heading north to hike a trail of my choosing for the first time. I am looking forward to it!

Here She Is!

Here's a picture of my niece, Sadie Claire. She is just over a week old now and it looks like my brother and his wife are going to keep her. This is good because I am looking forward to being a bad influence on her much as my aunt was on me. Also, I am happy that I live too far away to be asked to babysit.

A new arrival!!

Sadie Claire arrived at 7:59pm!

I am an uncle.

Pictures tomorrow when I return from visiting with my new (first!) neice!

Last Chance to Play the Name Game!

My sister in-law will have labor induced tomorrow morning at 7:30, so I have to make my prediction as to the newborn's name- the rest of the family only knows that it will be a girl, so to date, we've been calling her "Oprah."

My guess is the following:

• The young lady's first name will be the first/middle name of her maternal grandmother (who died with my sister in-law was young). Unfortunately, I don't know what either of those names are!

• The yong lady's middle name will most likely be Elizabeth as this is my sister's first name, my mother's middle name, and my great-grandmother's first name. However, there are other candidates- Sharon (after my mother), Jean (after my grandmother), or, if he wants to both surprise and impress people, he will choose Charlotte, my father's mother (who died when he was young).

I'll be back within a day or two with the actual results.

Uncle-hood here I come!

Snack Food Review

Pringles "Screamin' Dill Pickle" Potato Crisps/Chips/Whatevers

I'll start by saying that I really should have known better- I know that. But here's the thing...

I've always kind of been fascinated by the ways in which global food products (and believe it or not, Pringles appear to be available everywhere but Africa and Antarctica) are adapted to literally fit the taste of the local consumer. I guess I always wonder what I'm missing out on flavor-wise. I mean, just because a certain flavor isn't sold in the US, or even just my section of the US, it doesn't mean its no good! So, when I was browsing through my local mega-mart I noticed that their Pringles section was quite expansive and contained several flavors I'd never seen before. I decided to go with the one that seemed the most, well, "different."

The point being, they are awful. Awful. This may not seem like much of a distinction to make, but they don't taste like dill pickles, they taste like dill pickle juice/brine. If you're like me- and you can take that either way, trust me- when you finish a jar of pickles you stare at the remaining liquid and think, "That's kind of a waste, I wonder if I could drink it?" But you don't, because common sense takes over and you realize that it just couldn't be any good, and you throw it out.

The worst part? The taste just lingers and lingers and lingers.

So, lesson learned. Until next time at least...

How Am I Supposed To Feel About This?

Local gas prices jumped from $3.07 to $3.44 this week.

Talk about feeling powerless.

You just kind of have to "take it," don't you?

I use my car the bare minimum possible already and it gets good mileage.

Public transportation in my area is both scarce and unreliable.

I live to far from work to bike.

Yeah, so there it is.

It's Official

I have become so embarrassed by our president and his administration that I have lost the ability to express myself on the subject.

I plan on screaming myself hoarse on his last day in office.

The Name Game

I wasn't planning on posting anything tonight, but...

So, the Seattle franchise which will begin playing in MLS next year announced its team name today: Seattle Sounders F.C.

This is both good and bad news.

The good news is that this is what the team's name should have been from the beginning.* It has a history going back over 30 years and it has had popular support since people began lobbying for an MLS team in Seattle. The franchise/league's opposition was to it was that there was already a lower level team of the same name and they didn't people to be reminded of this "lesser" team. The fans didn't care.

The bad news? The bad news is that it took a naming campaign to make it happen, and even then, voters had to write in this choice because the ones offered by the franchise/league were so appallingly bland ("Alliance," "Republic," et al.).

Why make an issue of this? Because it is a modern sports development that has always bothered me. In the past- in both the United States and Europe- team names either came about organically or had some sort of local significance. Perhaps the team name came from its owners ("Bayer Leverkusen" being named after the drug company), reflected the local population ("Boston Celtics"), or reflected the occupations of the players/fans (those who worked at the "Arsenal"). And team "nicknames" resulted from a consensus among the fans- For example, Ayr United became "The Honest Men" after a line from the poet Robert Burns, a local lad.

In modern sports- in the United States especially- team names are generally determined by focus groups and meant to appeal to the most people possible, or to put it more truthfully, to not offend anybody. Using MLS as my example I'll run through the list of what is/was, and what should be. And while I'm at it, a little uniform critique too!

CD Chivas USA: No complaints here. A team name and uniform that pays homage to it's Mexican heritage, and team nicknames that are either fan-created or reflect the team's connection to its parent club.

Chicago Fire: Given the logo- which I like- supporters probably would have chosen the same "nickname," or at least a similar one. However, had the team's name/logo been less "loaded," many other names could have emerged given all of the city's various sobriquets ("City of Big Shoulders," "Windy City," "Second City."

Colorado Rapids: Bland, bland, bland. This one just smacks of lack of effort and imagination. Is it any wonder that the same can be said of the team to this point in its history? They probably should have gone ahead and changed their name to "Arsenal" when they formalized their relationship with the English club of the same name.

Columbus Crew: Probably my least favorite of them all. Horrible crest, horrible nickname, dodgy uniform colors. Supposedly the team name reflects the "blue collar nature" of the city- nothing like a nickname that could fit just about any other city anywhere!

D.C. United: One of the only teams to get it right from the beginning. A traditional name, no prepackaged "nickname," if memory serves, and no ugly uniforms in a league filled with them. Is it a coincidence that they've been one of the more successful franchises?

F.C. Dallas: The name and new traditional looking uniform are a massive improvement over the criminally bad uniforms and name- "Dallas Burn"- they began with.

Houston Dynamo: I can't complain about this one. After relocating from San Jose, they chose the name "Houston 1836," which, while creative, did offend a major part of their potential fan-bas (Mexican Americans). The second choice, and current name, not only reflects Houston's ties to the energy industry, previous Houston soccer teams, and is traditional (Dinamo Moscow).

Kansas City Wiz/Wizards: Only a slightly better logo than the Crew keeps this from being the worst of the group. I could almost stomach the the "Wizards" nickname if it had been given by the fans and not the choice of the club/league, but, of course, the team wanted to inspire the fans with the Frank Baum story/movie- what?!

Los Angeles Galaxy: Again, another team that should have chosen a more traditional name (L.A.F.C. or something similar) and allowed their fan base to create the nickname- "Stars," "Entertainers," or another name that reflected this or another aspect of the city's history.

Miami Fusion: I assume that the name was selected to "include" Miami's diverse population, and while that is admirable (I prefer "including" to "trying not to exclude"), it is also boring and it should have been no surprise when this team went out of business. Maybe something that reflected that Latin culture of the city would have been better- "Sporting Miami" perhaps?

New England Revolution: This is my team, but the best I can say about the name is that it's "okay," and about the uniforms, they're "okay" too. Neither is great. Clearly, the name of the club had to includ the whole region (N.E.F.C., N.E. United, etc.) and the nickname- if one had to be given- was going to be something historical, so one can't complain too much. HOWEVER, given the history of the area, the vibrant ethnic communities that still exist, and the natural beauty, I can't help but think we could have done better. And red, white, and blue as colors? A little predictable, but it relfects the Kraft's ownership of the N.E. Patriots as well.

NY/NJ MetroStars/Red Bull New York: Original name- blah. Original uniform- yawn. Since being purchased and rebranded by Red Bull, they look a great deal more legitimate.

Phildelphia TBAs: Given the amount of effort that groups like the Sons of Ben have put into getting their city a franchise in 2010 I hope that they will not be given an albatross of a team name. My suggestion, adopt the logo the Sons of Ben have created for themselves as the team's logo, and give the team a traditional name, something along the lines of Liberty F.C.

Real Salt Lake: The only good thing about this team's name connection with Spanish powerhouse Real Madrid. The uniforms make the team look like they might be sponsored by a fast food chain.

San Jose Clash/Earthquakes: First team name- garbage. Second team name- reminds people of a natural disaster causing event...might not be a great idea. Original uniforms- atrocious. New uniforms- generic. I would have gone for NoCal F.C./United.

Seattle Sounders F.C.: See above.

Tampa Bay Mutiny: Basically a disaster from start to finish. The logo (some sort of stylized ray?) and nickname have no logical connection, and the team should have either been called "The Rowdies" from the beginning, or Tampa Bay F.C. and let the people call them "The Rowdies" on their own. And the Rowdies had better uniforms. Good riddance.

Toronto F.C.: Another team that appears to be doing it right. A normal team name, no team-created nickname, good uniforms, a full stadium even with a bad team, and great travelling support.

*Actually, it should be "Seattle F.C." and people would naturally refer to them as "The Sounders."

Champions!!

After one season in the Scottish Football League's Irn-Bru Second Divison Ross County F.C. have bounced right back up to the First Division by virtue of their 4-0 home victory today against Berwick Rangers.

The secures the team's immediate future as the additional revenue generated by returning to the First Division will allow them to remain a full-time team (professional rather than semi-professional), aid in bringing in better players, and allow the club's youth sides to receive the attention they need.

In the long term it would be great to see the team have several successful seasons in the First Division before anyone starts entertaining the idea of moving up to the Scottish Premier League. As Gretna F.C. has shown this year, rising too far, too fast can result in long hard drop in the end. That being said...

...'mon the Staggies!!

(Special thanks to the folks over at www.thejailender.com for the picture of today's post-game celebration.)

Winter Light

I finally watched my second Bergman film tonight- Winter Light. It's taken me a long time to watch my second Bergman film because I love the first, The Seventh Seal, so much- it is one of my favorite movies ever.

I'm not sure I can get too specific about what I liked about the film- and I did like it, but I think it is the sparseness of his movies. I also like that he has this one question, "If there is a God, why is he silent?" that he won't let go of. It is present in The Seventh Seal when the witch tells the knight sees "nothing" as she approaches her death and in Winter Light when the pastor has nothing helpful to say to the fisherman who comes to him looking for assistance.


I'm hooked, I'll be adding Through A Glass Darkly and The Silence to my Netflix queue immediately.

Cool Gift

As I may have mentioned before, my best friend of over 20 years, Dr. McGenius, is "living the dream" and works at NASA-Goddard in Maryland.

In today's mail was a package from him which contained a NASA 50th Anniversary t-shirt with the logo to the left on the back and the NASA logo on the front. Very cool, I'm wearing it now.

Even more exciting, I've been promised some "mission-specific" gear (meaning it's not available to the public) in the future.

What is the moral of this "story?" Choose your friends wisely. Just because he worked at a farm stand for most of high school doesn't mean his future wasn't bright. And who knows, maybe someday, he'll be the first astronaut from Gilford, NH.

Well done, sir.

Turning into a grown up, the saga continues...

Today I bought a chair and two tables for my kitchen, as well as a large kitchen island, and various accoutrement for my kitchen.

Thank you, Ikea.

In sad news, this means that the large green easy chair in my kitchen will now have to find a new home, which may turn out to be the dumpster behind my building.

Jules Dassin (1911-2008)

Jules Dassin, who directed the very recently deceased Richard Widmark in The Naked City, passed away yesterday in Greece- he was 96 years old.

Mr. Dassin direct many notable films, but as readers of this blog would expect, we are indebted to him for a string of brilliant films noir he directed from the mid-1940's through the mid-1950's: Brute Force, The Naked City, Thieves' Highway, Night and the City, and the French classic Du rififi chez les hommes (Riffi).

Among the actors he worked with were Joan Crawford, John Wayne, Mary Astor, Conrad Veidt, Charles Laughton, Lucille Ball, Burt Lancaster, Gina Lollabrigida, Yves Montand, Marcello Mastroianni, Anthony Perkins, Peter Ustinov, Laurence Olivier, Richard Burton, and the aforementioned Richard Widmark.

In addition to being a gifted director, Dassin was a Greek patriot (despite being born in Middletown, CT- this author's hometown) who opposed the military regime that ruled that country from 1967-1974.

Sadly, like many of the better directors of his era, Mr. Dassin was also a target of the House Un-American Activities Committee (HUAC)- one of the main reasons that he began to work in France and lived in Europe during most of his later life.

TV Shows

I'm becoming a big fan of both Ninja Warrior and Unbeatable Banzuke. I'm shocked that- at least to my knowledge- neither of these shows has been "bought" and retooled for American audiences. Oh well, I'm enjoying them regardless!

Today...

...was kind of crappy. Filled with lots of unforeseen, time consuming, menial tasks and frustrating situations.

It's opening night for...MLS!

My New England Revolution gained some small (very small) measure of revenge (2-0) against the Houston Dynamo tonight. I have to admit being more than a little concerned at the lack of movement during the off-season after losing Noonan and Dorman, but the Revs looked to be in mid-season form and the two Gambian players who saw a little time last year looked great. I guess in the future I'll just trust Stevie Nicol to make the right moves.

It is also clear that the L.A. Galaxy still suck (they just went down 3-0 to the Colorado Rapids...the Rapids!?). It would probably be good for MLS and soccer in America in general if the team that fields both Landycakes and Soccer Spice were at least competitive, but it's not looking that way.

All criticism aside, Beckam's crosses really are on a different level. It's just too bad they all roll out of bounds as his teammates stand and watch.

In unrelated sports news, the ageless Tim Wakefield is pitching a nice game tonight in the alternate universe that is the exhibition game being played against the Dodgers in the L.A. Coliseum. And speaking of the Dodgers, Jeff Kent is their second baseman- I didn't realized he was still playing, what is he, 50?

Stop Eight: Glasgow and Home

My final day in Scotland was in Glasgow where I did only one thing of substance and that was to go out to Hampden Park and visit the Scottish Football Museum/Hall of Fame. I've seen several matches at Hampden in the past, but never had enough time to see the museum. It was pretty good. I think my only criticism is that it lacks focus. Specifically, it goes in a great many directions but doesn't fully explore any of them. Nevertheless, it was worth the trip and I bought a nice souvenir in the gift shop.

The highlight of my return to Glasgow, however, was returning to my B & B to find that my kilt had arrived! I can't wait to wear it for the first time- hopefully to a local Highland Games or Scottish Festival this summer.

It was an early night as my flight left for Amsterdam at 6:00am, which meant hopping into a cab at 4:00am in order to make sure I was at the airport and through security on time.

The flight was fine, but being marooned in Schilpol Airport for five hours was not what I needed at the end of a two week trip. Schilpol might be the only place I've ever been that's more expensive than Iceland.

The flight home seemed to last forever, but that might just be because there were lots of crabby small children who had no interest in being quiet for even a few seconds. There was also plenty of turbulence and the worst airline food I've had in a long time. In many ways, it was the opposite of the flight over.

All in all, however, it was a great trip, a much needed vacation, and I can't wait to go back for visit number five!

My favorite "Kids in the Hall" sketch...ever!

I was discussing this with somebody earlier today, so I thought I'd share a link to it. I especially like the last scene with the kid in the park.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=epa5YZIJU8I&feature=related

Stop Seven: Ayr

In the almost two weeks since I was in Ayr I am no closer to having a handle on it than I was when I was there. On the one hand, it has an incredibly rich history dating all the way back to the 14th century. On the other hand, there's a little too much of a Jersey Shore/Lake George/Weirs Beach vibe to it. I'm not sure if I liked it or not, so, for now, I'm going to reserve judgment on it.

The highlight of my trip to Ayr was going to Somerset Park to see Ayr United face off against my team, Ross County F.C.- I was especially excited for this math because the Ross County home match I had intended to attend a week earlier had been postponed due to a water-logged pitch. The match was made even better because Ross County won 2-0, preserving my impress "no loss" streak (see the new post on this subject for details).

I also spent one afternoon in air watching Dundee United choke away the C.I.S. Insurance Cun Final to Celtic not once, not twice, but three different tiems- ARGHHH!

Also in Ayr I had genuinely spicy food for the first time in half dozen visits to the U.K. I think, thankfully, we here in the States have a better developed palate where hot food is concerned, so I was genuinely shocked when the "spicy baguette" I ordered at a deli was actually spicy, and even moreso when the hot chili sauce I got on my my noodles at...a noodle shop, were not just spicy, but downright hot!

Oh, and a tip to future visitors to Ayr, the town shuts down at 5:30 most days, and on Sunday you better be happy with SPAR and a few chippies if you're looking to get some dinner!

Richard Widmark (1914-2008)

Earlier this week the actor Richard Widmark passed away. In my mind, Widmark was one of those actors (along with Dan Duryea, Sterling Hayden, and the pre-City Slickers Jack Palance) who were "actors" rather "than movie stars." They possessed great dramatic range and could carry a movie without dominating it. As a result, Widmark and the others regularly chosen to"star" in films noir and in westerns (most of which, were, by definition, "B" pictures), or were paired with or against bigger "stars" in "A" pictures. Widmark and his ilk were not character actors, but they weren't Humphrey Bogart or John Wayne either. Within this very respectable "niche" Widmark carved out an exceptional career. Widmark appeared in just over 60 movies, among them were:

• Kiss of Death (1947)
• The Street with No Name (1948)
• Road House (1948)
• Night and the City (1950)
• Panic in the Streets (1950)
• No Way Out (1950)
• Don't Bother to Knock (1952)
• Pickup on South Street (1953)
• Two Rode Together (1961)
• Judgment at Nuremberg (1961)
• How the West Was Won (1962)
• Cheyenne Autumn (1964)

He will be missed.

Here are three of the not-available-in-most-of-the-US-unless-you-buy
them-on-the-internet foodstuffs I tasted while in Scotland.

1. Burt's smoked streaky bacon crisps were okay, just not bacon-y enough for my taste.
2. McVitie's milk chocolate digestive biscuits are an old favorite- I love them and they are even better dipped into hot tea. It's actually good that it's hard to find in the States, or I'd eat way too many of them.
3. And then there is IRN-BRU, Scotland's favorite (non-alcoholic) beverage. Do I like it? I don't know, I just don't know. The only thing I do know is that it is not good warm, not good at all.

Stop Six: Ballachulish

The drive from Portree to Ballachulish via Ft. William was yet another one full of beautiful scenery. In this case, the fields along the road were full of stags for large parts of the journey.

The point of visiting Ballachulish for the very first time was to visit the village (pop. 639) where my great, great grandfather was born and worked in the slate quarry (seen in the foreground of the picture). What I was not expecting was how picturesque the area was. Located on the shores of Loch Leven and beneath the twin peaks of Beinn a' Bheithir, with the River Laroch running through the middle of it, Ballachulish was one of the most beautiful places I've ever visited in Scotland.

The first day in the village was mainly spent exploring the quarry and the surrounding area and finished with dinner at the village's one pub, The Laroch, where I dined on (venison) bangers and mash while watching a UEFA Cup match- not a bad way to spend an evening.

On day two I walked a mile down the road to Glencoe where I visited the monument erected to commemorate the thirty-seven members of the MacDonald clan killed by government forces in 1692. I returned to Ballachulish where I visited St. John's Church and walked the Brecklet Path above and behind the quarry.

One final fact about Ballahculish, the bank is open two days a week for a total of five hours.

Stop Five: The Isle of Skye

The ferry from Tarbert took me from the Isle of Harris to the Isle of Skye, home of, among other things, my clan, the MacDonalds.

The ferry ride was rough, but I'm not prone to seasickness, so I was just fine. Others on the boat did not fare as well...

I arrived in Uig (OO-ig) on the Isle of Skye and was greeted by very strong winds and what can best be described as "unpredictable" weather the minute I stepped off the ferry and onto the jetty.

However, I had it in my plans to walk from Uig to Portree (15 miles) and I wasn't going to let a little weather deter me, so I geared up and got to walking. The winds at one point were a sustained 50mph- I had to lean sideways into it to avoid being blown into the roadside ditches on several occasions. Oh, and in addition to raining and snowing intermittently, it also hailed. Sideways hail at 50mph hurts, a lot. All things considered however, the walk was fun. I was appropriately geared up and I made better time than I thought I was going to.

Upon arriving in Portree I felt something I had, until that point, only been jealous of in others. I was the intrepid traveler arriving in town from parts unknown. I could just about hear people thinking the things I have always thought about such hearty souls- "Who is he?" "Where did he come from?" "Where is he headed next?" I was, "that guy" and it felt great!

The bed in my otherwise fine B & B was the worst one of the trip, but after my walk from Uig and all of the other walking I did in and around town, it did really matter.

What does one take away from a trip to the Isle of Skye? Simply that it is one of the most beautiful places on earth.

Stop Four: The Outer Hebrides

I next departed Inverness for the very scenic trip to Ullapool where I caught the ferry to Stornoway on the Isle of Lewis (Stornoway Harbour is the first picture above). One of the things I was looking forward to doing in Stornoway was going to the Museum nan Eilean (Western Isles Museum), but sadly, and even though I checked their website before leaving for Scotland, it was closed. However, during my unsuccessful trip to the museum, I witnessed an "old-fashioned" funeral- the kind where the women stay behind in the churchyard and the men follow the hearse to the cemetery in pairs.

Also while in Stornoway I heard many people speaking Gaelic on the streets and I was able to wander around the grounds of Lews Castle- a beautiful, but empty and decaying building.

From Stornoway it was a short and also very scenic bus trip to Tarbert on the Isle of Harris.* During the trip I missed the photo-op of a lifetime as I observed- from the bus window- three sheep who had sought relief from the rain and window by taking refuge in a bus shelter! Tarbert is much, much smaller than Stornoway and much, much quieter. In fact, as far as I could tell I was the only tourist in town the day/night I was there, and that was just fine with me.


*Lewis and Harris are actually part of the same landmass despite being referred to as separate "isles." There is a natural change in topography between the two isles (Harris is much more mountainous than Lewis), but there it is.

Stop Three: Inverness

The scenery on the bus trip from Aberdeen to Inverness was, in a word, bleak. With the exception of Elgin, which looked like a kind of interesting little city, I don't see myself spending time any more time in Scotland's northeastern corner.

Whatever the case, it brought me to one of my favorite cities anywhere- Inverness. As I've said before, it's just the right size, a half hour drive in any direction leads to magnificent scenery, it's small enough to walk around, and it's one of the more "wallet-friendly" cities in Scotland.

On this visit, I spent three days in and around the city. Among the highlights were buying a kilt (Modern Clan Donald tartan), walking up to the ruins of the Pictish fort on Craig Phadrig, and visiting a museum and an art gallery.

The lowlights: Being denied a trip to Dingwall to see Ross County FC play Brechin City because torrential rains had flooded the pitch, the small size of my room at the B & B, and eating at KFC (I try to avoid junk food- especially of the American variety when I travel- one needs to try to be adventurous, doesn't one?).

And then there was Kenny. Kenny was the proprietor of the B & B where I stayed. I had already made up my mind about him ("life-long bachelor"...not that there's anything wrong with that...), but then on my way out on the last day I saw the painting on the wall: Kenny in the middle wearing a red sweater surrounded by a ring of individual portraits...of his cocker spaniels. Uh huh.

Observations

In addition to my "travel diary" posts from my trip, I'm also going to share some of the more general comments and questions that I made note of during my trip. Here they are!

• It seemed to me that a lot of the news presenters on the various BBC channels were South Asian. I wonder why that is?
• According to folklore, the sandwich was "invented" in the U.K. If that's the case, when did they forget how to make them? Here's a tip- there are condiments other than mayonnaise!
• And speaking of mayonnaise- which I DETEST- one evening while standing in a "chippie" waiting for my dinner I watched a man put mayonnaise on his fried chicken. I didn't know whether to vomit or seek counseling. Here are somethings that normal people might put on fried chicken: gravy, barbecue sauce, or even honey.
• I encountered some escalators that went up on the "wrong side" like people in the UK drive on the "wrong side."
• English variety shows (the names of them escape me at the moment) are almost as odd as Japanese game shows- and that's saying something!
• I don't care what anyone says, Heinz ketchup in the U.K. has a thinner consistency and a more vinegary taste than Heinz ketchup does in the U.S.
• "Plans" and "Projects" are called "schemes" in the U.K., which always tends to make me- as an outsider- vaguely suspicious of them no matter how well-intentioned.
• There are two kinds of women between the ages of, say, 18 and 35 in Scotland. Those who are stunningly beautiful without any make-up whatsoever, and those who trowel it on by the pound and still look hideous. (I've never claimed I wasn't shallow!)
• How hard is it to make a shower that a) has decent water pressure and b) stays at the same temperature during your entire shower?! This especially bothers me because in Scotland because there is literally fresh, clear, abundant water bubbling out of the ground everywhere that isn't covered with asphalt. All other Europeans should visit Iceland, where the shower head is basically a fire hose spewing super-heated water!
• And speaking of hoses... while public transportation in Scotland is generally abundant, convenient, and reasonably priced, if you're traveling to or from an out-of-the-way place, or- woe is you- from one out-of-the-way place to another, you'll get "hosed" for your ticket.
• In the U.S. we have spurned the metric system. I don't have an opinion on that one way or another. But what's going on in the U.K. In theory, they've adopted the metric system, yet, they still measure body weight in "stone" (14 pounds) and the weight of other objects (automobiles, for example) in "hundredweights" (8 stone). And yes, I'm well aware that a "hundredweight" weighs 112 pounds- I didn't make up the system!
  

Okay, so I'm not exactly Alexis de Tocqueville, but I thought these things were interesting.

Stop Two: Aberdeen

Having not visited Aberdeen during any of my previous trips to Scotland, I made a point of doing so this time. My review is "mixed," but more on that in a moment.

The bus ride from Glasgow to Aberdeen was nothing special, which is "saying something," because there are numerous bus rides and train rides in Scotland that take you through some breathtaking landscapes.

While in Aberdeen I visited the Maritime Museum (it was excellent), visited Pittodrie Stadium (home of Aberdeen F.C.), and Bishop Skene's (pictured)- the oldest private residence in the city. I enjoyed all of these things.

About that "mixed review"... Aberdeen is a "boomtown." The problem is that the North Sea oil that caused the "boom" arrived almost 800 years after the city was chartered. Thus, a city with beautiful architecture ranging from medieval to Victorian is also full of ugly, poorly-placed, and unimaginative office buildings from the 1970s. It is almost impossible to take a picture of one of the beautiful buildings without having the corner of a building that looks like it was plucked out of East Berlin jutting into it. For example, Provost Skene's house is surrounded by just such buildings. If one has any appreciation of architecture or history is just gets depressing after a while.

Add this to the fact that all of the money coming into the city makes the cost of living very expensive (even moreso for a visitor) and that the rides to and from the city are underwhelming and I probably won't return to it. I'm glad I went, but given how many better places there are in Scotland to spend time in, once was enough.

Stop One: Glasgow/Bellshill

I'm going to condense my trip into "stops" rather than "days" so that I can be a little more compact in my posts.

Let's start with the flight, Bradley to Amsterdam. This was the best long-distance flight I've ever taken. Why, because there were so few people on it that anyone who wanted one, could have their own row! I took full advantage of mine and slept more than I ever have before on a trans-Atlantic flight.

I stayed in Glasgow's West End. I like this area because it is relatively quiet, near some major museums, and home to one of the city's universities. This time my B & B (which was "fine") was within walking distance of Firhill Park, home of Partick Thistle, so I went to check that out. Later, I went to see a movie so that I wouldn't sleep all afternoon. That night, while getting dinner, I saw the following spray-painted on a wall, "Resistance is the secret to joy." I wonder what the Latin is for "In vandalism there is truth?"

The next morning- before heading off to Aberdeen- I took the bus out to Bellshill, birthplace of my late grandmother. I'm not sure why I never did this on previous trips to Scotland...maybe because this is the first time I've gone since she died and because I was alone. Anyway, the picture is of 4 Hamilton Road, the house where she was born.

Tomorrow: Aberdeen

I'm home!

And really tired.

Major posts- with photos!- coming in the next few days.

Let's recap, shall we?

Over the last year or so I've scrimped and saved, and then, after my not-really-unexpected windfall at Christmas, splurged, in an effort to turn my palatial imitation apartment* into something that looks like it belongs to an adult and not a college freshman. So, let's see what I've accomplished and what's left.

-New couch: technically it's a "love seat," but it's as big as a couch.
-New bed: a real bed, it cannot be folded up into anything else.
-New mattress: it's a top of the line futon style one, but that's what my back likes.
-New shelving units: they are the cheap "build yourself" type, but they're an improvement.
-New receiver: hey, a stereo upgrade is still an upgrade!
-New PS3: I need my games, and, a big "sorry about that" to those who went for HD-DVD.

From the "addition by subtraction" category:

-My two HUGE crappy/ugly CD racks have been replaced leather CD books that fit on a shelf.
-My old futon and mattress are now in my brother's basement and I have more storage room.
-My closet now has plenty of room in it.

Still to do:

-A table and two chairs for the kitchen.
-A movable island/counter for the kitchen.

These items have been located, I just need to wait until I'm back from vacation to make the trip to IKEA to get them.



*bonus points to anyone who can identify the source of that quote.

VACATION!!!

I've tried to remain somewhat calm about my impending trip to Scotland, but with less than two weeks to go I can no longer contain myself! So with out getting into way too much detail, here's the trip:

March 4
After a changeover in Amsterdam I'll arrive in Glasgow. I'm staying in the West End again, which is nice. The West End has the University, the Kelvingrove Museum, and is picturesque and low-key. My plan is to walk to some of the football stadiums I have not visited before- there are three (Parkhead, Ibrox, and Firhill) within 4 miles of my b & b.

March 5
Only one task for my second day and that is to go to nearby Bellshill where I will visit my grandmother's birthplace for the first time. This will also be my first trip to Scotland since her death, I'm imagine that it's going to be an emotional morning. After that, I'll spend the afternoon on the bus as I make my way up to Aberdeen for the first time.

March 6
For my full day in Aberdeen I plan to visit the Maritime Museum, the Gordon Highlanders Museum, and another football stadium (Pittodrie).

March 7
Ahhhh, Inverness, capital of the Highlands. This is one of my favorite cities. Just the right size, nice people, one of my favorite restaurants, and ten minutes outside the city and you are in the middle of postcard-like beauty. Only one task for my first afternoon and that is to visit Caledonian Stadium, which literally sits at the edge of Beauly Firth.

March 8
Today is the first "big" day of the trip! I'll be hopping on the bus (hopefully the RCFC Supporters' Bus!) and making the short ride up to Victoria Park in Dingwall to watch Ross County v. Brechin City. Ross County are currently on a hot streak and looking likely to get promoted back to the SFL First Division- 'mon the Staggies!

March 9
Sunday in Scotland...so there won't be any-thing going on. Thus, I'll take a nice leisurely walk along the River Ness and the Ness Islands and maybe up to the Pictish fort that I've managed to miss each other time I've visited.

March 10
Day seven brings me to Ullapool where I'll catch the ferry to Stornoway on the Isle of Lewis. This will be my first time in the Outer Hebrides and I can't wait! Once there, I'll go to the Museum nan Eilean (Western Isles Museum) and then rent myself a bike and pedal myself either to the Callanish standing stones or the Black House Museum in Arnol.

March 11
My goal today is to bike from Stornoway to Tarbert on the Isle of Harris (about 35 miles). If this isn't possible I'll take the bus to Tarbert and hike up Glen Ulladale in the afternoon.

March 12
Today will be a travel day, but a scenic one. I'll take the ferry across The Minch from Tarbert to Uig on the Isle of Skye. This is said to be a breathtaking trip visually and if it's anything like the ferry trip from Mallaig to Skye in the south, it promises to be spectacular. Once on Skye, I'll make the 15 mile walk from Uig to Portree. Not only are there plenty of nerdy historical stops along the way, but Skye is beautiful and wandering around it for five or six hours will be fun.

March 13
Day two on Skye will see me trying to get out to Orbost to Rebel's Wood, a forest planted in memory of the late Joe Strummer. If I can't get there, I'll walk around Portree- especially the harbor. Then it's off to Ballachulish!

March 14
I'll be spending this day in Ballachulish. It will be my first visit to the birthplace of my great-great grandfather, Duncan Livingston, and the second stop on my family history tour. With this in mind, I'll be visiting the slate quarry where he worked, the Miner's Museum, and hopefully getting some information on his/my older ancestors.

March 15
From Ballachulish it's on to Ayr for my first visit to Burns' country and the final stop on my family history tour. However, before I do either of those things, I'll be going to see Ross County v. Ayr United. And yes, since you asked, I did plan my trip so that I could see RCFC play a second time!

March 16
Again, it's Sunday, so I'll be making my own "fun." I may walk along the beach, I'll probably walk to Alloway to see the Burns Monument & Garden, but something else will take priority over both of these things. I will find some way to get to Patna. Once in Patna, I'm going to find a place that doesn't exist, called Tongue Row- birthplace of my great grandmother. Tongue Row disappeared when the iron works that built it for it's workers closed.

March 17
On my last full day I'll be back in Glasgow for a visit to the Royal Highland Fusiliers Museum and the Scottish Football Association Museum. After that, I'll need to get to bed early as my flight out is at 6:00am.

March 18
I will depart Glasgow for home...or will I?

Kosovo

Congratulations to the Kosovars for declaring independence from Serbia! Especially given that they did so in the face of continuing and not-so-thinly-veiled threats from both the Serbians and the Russians.

I was especially happy to see that their parliament ratified the declaration unanimously, that there are specific guarantees for the equality of the ethnic Serbs, and that they recognized the need and worth of having international troops in the country.

Maybe the Balkans have finally, FINALLY, sorted themselves out.

It's Valentine's Day!!

so what.

Today's Developments

First and foremost, I'm typing on my new black MacBook...it's kind of like the "Darth Vader" of MacBooks- and I like that.

Second, my new"Norton Motorcylces" inspired Reverend Horton Heat t-shirt also arrived via FedEx today.

Third, Curt Schilling has an injury that will keep him out until at least the All-Star break, if not end his career. Might have been nice to know this before Johann Santana became a Met.

Finally, Mitt Romney dropped out of the presidential race today, leaving John McCain- the most palatable of the Republicans the defacto nominee- sorry Mike Huckabee. That being said, as much as I admire Senator McCain, I don't see myself voting for him.

Alright, time to put the new machine through its paces!

HUZZAH!!

My new MacBook arrived a day early!

So, my next post, will be from my awesome new machine!

SWEEEEEEEEEET!!!

I just ordered my new, upgraded, super sexy black, iBook!

I was going to get the new MacBook Air, but it has no optical drive, so if you can't get what you need (music, movies, games, etc.) on-line or have a second computer that you can install programs on and transfer them to the MacBook Air via wireless network, you're pretty much out of luck.

The best part? Add together my tax refund and the money from the sale of my current iBook, and I'll actually make 45¢, because, as we all know, your tax refund is "free money!"

"3-5 Business days"...

:)

Is this bad?

I'm going on vacation for two weeks starting March 3...and I'm already packed.

Famous?

So, what the heck, here are the "famous" people I've "met." Some of them won't mean anything to you until I explain them, some won't mean anything even after I explain them!

Direct-

Robert Vaughn, star of "The Man from Uncle" and the "Helsinki Formula" infomercials: Talked to him on the phone.

Peter Jennings, late anchor of ABC News: Talked to him on the phone.

Chevy Chase, actor...you know, FLETCH!: Met him when his daughter toured a school at which I was teaching.

Bill Murray, actor...so, you know, he's got that going for him: Met him when he came to watch his son play football for the rivals of a school at which I taught.

Ally McCoist, member Scottish National Team: One of only two professional athletes I've asked for an autograph.

Bode Miller, Olympic/World Cup skier: I knocked him on his ass during a men's league soccer game about 8 or 9 years ago. I might not have done so if I'd known that's who it was beforehand!

Egon Zimmerman, Olympic/World Cup skier: Was my ski school instructor when I was about ten.

Al Barr, lead singer of the Dropkick Murphys: Of course, when I knew him, his name was still "Alex." We went to high school together for a couple of years, his dad was my German teacher during my freshman year.

Chris Sheridan, director, producer, writer, etc. for "The Family Guy": All this is based on what my mom has told me, but if it's true (there's definitely a "Chris Sheridan" in the credits), Chris and I overlapped for a couple of years in high school, worked on the school newspaper together, and his mom is still (I think!) the school nurse.

Indirect-

Mo Vaughn, professional baseball player: I coached his niece for one season, and she was the team manager for two more after that.

George Soros, international "financier": I taught one of his sons for a year.

And, for what it's worth, I regularly see Thurston Moore and Kim Gordon of Sonic Youth, and J. Mascis of Dinosaur Jr. around town.

Anyway...

I could probably list a hundred soccer players (male and female) that I've worked clinics and camps with over the years, but that would take forever, so I'll just leave this list as is until I remember somebody that I've left off!

HERE'S your problem!

I rarely, if ever, resort to foul language here on my lame little blog, but after reading this story (click on the title of this post for the link) my first thought was, "You've got to be fucking kidding me..." I didn't say it aloud, my "inner voice" wasn't even raised. It was "said" with sadness and disappointment. With all the things that deserve more time, attention, and funding, our federal government- in this case, the FCC- felt it was important to spend five (FIVE?!) years and who knows how many hundreds of thousands (if not MILLIONS) of dollars waging a battle against ABC because NYPD Blue showed a woman's buttocks. Five years...

I'm glad my government has it's priorities in such crystal clear order.

Managers in the Premier League

The data:

Manchester United: Sir Alex Ferguson: Scottish
Arsenal: Arsene Wenger: French
Chelseaa: Avram Grant: Israeli
Liverpool: Rafael Benitez: Spanish
Evertona: David Moyes: Scottish
Aston Villa: Martin O’Neill: Northern Irish
Manchester City: Sven-Goran Eriksson: Swedish
Blackburn Rovers: Mark Hughes: Welsh
Portsmouth: Harry Redknapp: English
West Ham United: Alan Curbishley: English
Newcastle United: Kevin Keegan: English
Tottenham Hotspur: Juande Ramos: Spanish
Reading: Steve Coppell: English
Middlesbrough: Gareth Southgate: English
Bolton Wanderers: Gary Megson: English
Birmingham City: Alex McLeish: Scottish
Wigan Athletic: Steve Bruce: English
Sunderland: Roy Keane: Irish
Fulham: Roy Hodgson: English
Derby County: Paul Jewell: English

Things to think about:

• No English managers currently managing teams that will qualify for Europe next year.
• Of the three non-English managers in the bottom half of the table, two were mid-season replacements.
• Two of the three managers of teams trying to avoid relegation are English.
• With the exception of Kevin Keegan's brief tenure as England manager*, none of the English managers has achieved anything on the national or international stage.

*while he did qualify England for Euro 2000, his 7-7-4 overall record as England manager was the worst among permanently appointed managers.

Whereas:

Alex Ferguson alone has won:

Premier League: (9)
FA Cup: (5)
League Cup: (2)
FA Charity/Community Shield: (7)
UEFA Champions League: (1)
UEFA Cup Winners' Cup: (1)
Intercontinental Cup: (1)
UEFA Super Cup: (1)
FA Premier League Manager of the Year: (7)
FA Premier League Manager of the Month: (19)
UEFA Champions League Manager of the Year: (1)
World Soccer Magazine Coach of the Year: (3)

And that doesn't include what he did with Aberdeen before coming to England:

Scottish League: (3) Of the four they've won.
Scottish Cup: (4) Of the six they've won.
Scottish League Cup: (1) Of the five they've won
European Cup Winners Cup: (1) Their only one.
UEFA Super Cup: (1) Their only one.

I'm just sayin'...

I practical use for my blog!?!?

I don't know that I've recorded all of them here, but according to my blog, today's migraine is my first since November 4- not bad.

I only wish it wasn't working in hellish combination with the pulled muscle in my neck.

I think it's time to turn out the lights and stay very still...

NINJAS!?

Today I went to the movies.

I went to see "No Country for Old Men."

Somewhere between buying my ticket and getting something to drink I decided that I didn't want to see something so "serious," so I looked at the other listings and decided to see "In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale."

Oops.

Apparently this movie was based on a video game. Had I known that, I might have stuck with my original choice- let's just say that Roger Ebert's views on movies that are based on games are right on target. I can imagine this movie having been written on a laptop, during study halls, by an inhaler-dependent 9th grader who plays too many video games and/or Magic: the Gathering.

I also wish I'd known that this movie was directed by Uwe Boller, but that's another topic for another day.

Anyway, here are my thoughts on this movie- or at least as many as I could jam onto the back of my ticket stub in a dark theater.

The Plot

There really isn't a single "plot," there are many- none of them well-developed. There's the long-lost son of the king, the nephew who wants to overthrow the king, the evil magician who's trying to overthrow thing king, and some other stuff.

There are also subhuman warriors- controlled by Gallian, the evil magician- who run some sort of slave-populated underground mines (complete with flowing lava). They are called "Krugs." "What do they mine? Why must it be mined? These are details the viewer apparently does not need to know. Another question lingers too: the first time I saw this plotline weren't they called "Orcs," and didn't they appear in three other small movies as masters of underground mines? I'm just asking...

The Script

I'm not sure there was one. And if there was, my hat is off to the actors for not bursting into laughter after some of the lines they had to deliver.

The Setting

The movie is set in medieval "somewhere" (in this case, British Columbia) at some "medieval time." Apparently there must have been some disagreement about these things. There is a church and there are some references to Christianity...but then at the end of the movie there is all kinds of talk about "The Gods." Who knows...

The Mistakes

Okay, I'm only going to point out one. There's a scene where two characters are digging some graves with shovels that could have been purchased at your friendly neighborhood ACE Hardware store- I am surprised that they actually remembered to remove the labels from them. Hint to those who make movies about the medieval period in European history- metal was hard to come by and expensive, dirt poor farmers would have wooden shovels.

The Cast

• Jason Statham: I like Jason Statham. No, he's not Olivier, but then, to the best of my knowledge, he has never attempted Hamlet either. If you need a fit, more or less handsome, working-class Englishman to deliver raspy, B-grade, Clint Eastwood dialog in an action movie, he's your man. Keeping that in mind, I cannot fault his performance here, he did the job he was hired to do.

• Leelee Sobieski: I don't even know if she's a good actress or not, I'm simply to consumed with trying to figure out if she is breathtakingly beautiful, or just really odd looking? Also, as an historian, she gets a partial "pass" for being related to Poland's royal family- particularly national hero Jan III Sobieski, who saved Vienna from the Turks.

• Jonathan Rhys-Davies: This man has been making films for over 40 years- what on Earth is he doing in this film? Here are just a few of his prior credits: I, Claudius, Shogun, The Merchant of Venice, Raiders of the Lost Ark, Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, and all of the Lord of the Rings movies. In this movie, he plays a cut-rate Merlin type character.

• Ron Perlman: Once again, let's look at the best of this actor's previous work: The Name of the Rose, Enemy at the Gates, and Hellboy. He plays what there is of his part- grizzled, aging, but wise, soldier, just fine.

• Claire Forlani: This would have been a better movie if all 124 minutes had been spent on her, sitting in a chair, doing nothing but looking at the camera.

• Kristianna Loken: She was in the last Terminator movie, she's beautiful, but her role in this movie is so small that I suspect (and there are lots of other things in this movie that lead me to this conclusion) that large parts of this movie were left on the proverbial "cutting room floor." (Confirmed: according to the film's Wikipedia page, the DVD release will be 45 minutes longer)
  

• Matthew Lillard: This is the "level" of actor this movie deserved. Take a look at his IMDB entry and you'll see that I don't mean that as a compliment.

• Ray Liotta: Ray, you were Henry Hill in "Goodfellas." GOODFELLAS!! Now you're an evil wizard in a movie based on a video game?! I'm going to assume this film was made just prior to Ray's February 2007 DUI arrest, it would explain a lot.

And one more...

• Burt Reynolds: Again, Burt has never been an Oscar caliber actor, but this movie? He was in Gator, Deliverance, The Longest Yard, Semi-Tough, Smokey and the Bandit, Cannonball Run, and Sharky's Machine. He couldn't possibly have needed the paycheck this badly, could he?

Oh, right, you were probably waiting for me to get to the Ninjas...

As an historian I know that medieval Europe was a much more multicultural and multiracial society than the modern world assumes, especially in southern Europe, larger cities and where trade routes intersected. Therefore, if a movie about medieval Europe contains some "people of color" in one or more of the contexts, I not only understand it, but I also applaud it for its accuracy. This movie did none of these things, and yet...

...and yet there is one major character and one minor one who are African- no explanation given. There are also several Asian faces seen behind the helmets of the king's soldiers.

And then there are the Ninjas.

During the major battle scene(s) there is a small group of Asians clad in loose black clothing who attack the enemy while spinning, kicking, and brandishing swords in both hands.

Ninjas. Really?

Why I didn't do it.

I walked around the store for almost twenty minutes holding a collapsible snow shovel that I was going to throw in my trunk so that the next time it snowed I could use something other than my feet to clear a path to get my car out.

It was only $6.99

Just in time, however, I realized two things.

First, if I bought it, I would become confident about it and it would then surely break the first time I attempted to use it, angering me greatly.

Second, if I bought it, it would never snow again for as long as I owned it. I like snow, and I didn't want this to happen.

Clear-headed logic- no?

Blarg.

The first 7 days of 2008 can kiss my...

...anyway, I'm tired.

Just because it popped into my head...

...here are some TV shows I've never watched, and never plan to.

• Friends
• E.R.
• Desperate Housewives
• Scrubs
• Law & Order (any variation)
  

How I spent New Year's Eve

Asleep.

For almost 13 hours.

Yup, that's the kind of week it was.

Top Albums of 2007

Yahoo posted it's list today.

I own NONE of them.

I would consider buying three of them.

My "outsider status" remains intact.

Perhaps the greatest website ever created

Even if you are not a football (soccer) fan, you will find this sight irresistible:

http://hudsonia.blogspot.com/

Ray Hudson's enthusiasm for the sport and his creativity with the English language make me happy to be alive. Dick Vitale wishes he was Ray Hudson!

Thank you...

...that five figure check I deposited came to me as a result of the sale of my grandparent's house.

I will put it to the best use I can.

And I would give it back in an instant to have either or both of them back for even another day.

Funny?

The teller at my bank who usually can't be bothered to speak to me when I make a transaction suddenly had all the time in the world for me the other day when I deposited a five-figure check.

It was "Mr. This" and "Mr. That," "Happy Holidays, " and more.

What-EVER.

The Christmas Oddsmaking Recap

A few days ago I made my first attempt at handicapping my potential Christmas presents- let's see how I did!

• Outside Magazine subscription: 2/1
• A good bet as it makes things easy for my brother in-law's brother.

I was pretty sure about this one, but I was wrong. I got an Amazon gift certificate instead, which I'll probably use...to renew my subscription.

• Two tickets to a Red Sox game: 15/1
• Not confident in this one, but if it happens, my sister will be behind it.

I'm going to count this one as "correct."

• Digital Camera: 5/2
• This is the most likely to be my "big gift" this year.

I definitely made the wrong call here.

• Any of the IKEA items on my list: 50/1
• Too expensive and too inconvenient to acquire. I'll drop the odds to 25/1 on the kitchen table/chairs or a gift card.

Not only was I correct, I got the reasoning right too!

• Items from my Amazon wish list: 3/2
• These are the cheap, "go to" gifts for those who can't come up with anything else.

I got a movie on my list.

• Seinfeld/Family Guy/Simpson's seasons on DVD: 4/1
• I should probably give higher odds on these, but somebody might come through.

I got season 3 of the Simpson's.

• Duvet Cover: 2/1
• Almost a lock, if Mom finds a bargain it will be a done deal.

Mom found a bargain.

• Small Humidifier: 6/1
• This would be so practical it would almost hurt my feelings so I'm going to have faith in my family and put a little longer odds on it than I probably should.

My family had no problem hurting my feelings.

• Shoes from Zappos: 10/1
• Even the lack of risk (free shipping/free return shipping) in getting the wrong size will not allay the fears of certain people in my family have of ordering online.

Correct again.

• Wireless router for my iBook: 3/1
• I could probably shorten the odds even more on this because my brother (the software engineer) will likely be able to acquire one at a criminally low price.

My brother actually paid full price for it!

• House plant: 1/1
• The time of year might work against this, but at worst, I'm sure I'll get a gift certificate for one.

Nope.

• GPS unit for hiking: 25/1
• Too many variables for some people to consider purchasing it.

Winner!

• Step stool: 1/1
• Inexpensive and practical- too hard to resist.

Surprisingly, not.

So, 9 correct, 4 incorrect. Not bad if I do say so myself! See you at birthday time!

Christmas Letters

(Keep in mind, as you read the following, I have sent no more than five Christmas cards total in the last decade, so it's not as though I'm encouraging these people.)

I can deal with getting Christmas cards from people I seldom/rarely/never see. For example, every year I a card from my sister in-law's father and step-mother. They are perfectly nice people, but I don't think I've seen them more than once since my brother got married three(?) years ago.

What I cannot deal with is getting Christmas cards which also include a "Christmas Letter," the one in which the author(s) fill you in on everything they've done in the past year. I think there are two primary reasons for this. First, if I had any interest in what they were doing during the year, I would stay in touch! Second, they always seem to be written- as one might logically expect- by people who have an overdeveloped sense of their importance and the importance of their endeavors.

The letter in question was written by the daughter of a man who taught with my father for many years. The two families have remained close, but at this point, I really only see them at weddings and funerals.

Here are just a few highlights:

• The author refers to the celebrating of the "adoptiversary" of the mixed breed dog they took into their home this year.
• The author has a "life coach."
• The author and her husband take part in a weekly meditation group and spent a week on a "silent retreat."
• The dog referred to above, "signed" the letter.
• The letter closes with the following sentence: "May we all find safety and protection, health and strength, peace and happiness, and internal fulfillment and awakening through this season and throughout 2008, and may we send the same out to the rest of the planet."

Honestly...

Before today ends...

...I would like to say that it sucked. Hard.

That is all.

Something I wish I'd never seen

I just saw a film clip of the now 41 year old Sinead O'Connor- somebody whom I've always considered as beautiful a woman has ever lived- and let's just say the years have not been kind.

Chimps

Re: My previous post wondering what a group of chimpanzees should be called.

I don't know.

Monkeys come in a troop, cartload, tribe, barrel, band, pack, or tribe.

Gorillas come in a band.

Apes come in a shrewdness, band, or pack.

Baboons come in a congress, flange, pack, or tribe.

Monkeys fit in some of these groups and are lumped into others, but I can find no unique name for a group of them. Thus, I have chosen one.

Henceforth, a group of monkeys shall be referred to as a posse.

Books!

This evening, between about 8 and 10:30pm I read Steve Martin's new book My Life Standing Up. It was excellent. After reading it I started thinking about books, and specifically, difficult books. That is, books that have challenged me.

Setting aside books that I have had to read on a deadline (for a class I was taking or teaching), in which case I have been forced to muddle through, speed read, and employ various other "techniques"- whether I've actually understood everything I was reading or not- I could only come up with three books that have been difficult for me.*

The Pope's Rhinoceros by Lawrence Norfolk: I loved his first novel, Lemprière's Dictionary, and thus I began his second novel with great gusto- it promptly kicked my intellectual ass. Sure, the plot was complex and the vocabulary enormous, but that had not been a problem for me in the past- I did read and enjoy Charles Palliser's The Quincunx after all! Nevertheless, I'd guess that I tried to read this book four or five times before finishing it. In between it sat on my bookshelf quietly mocking me. In the end, I was triumphant, but did I enjoy the book? I really don't know...

If on a winter's night a traveler... by Italo Calvino: Such a small book. Again, it took numerous tries over numerous years to get through it. It got to the point that I carried it with me wherever I went in the hope that the right time and the right frame of mind my suddenly intersect and allow me to finish it and eventually that happened. I read it between classes while working on my M.A. I'm assuming that my academic work had my mind honed while at the same time, in need of some escape and I was able to finish it. In this case, I think I just "surrendered" to the book and worried about figuring out what it meant and how it worked after I finished it. It was fascinating, and when it was over, I didn't want it to be.

Which leads me to the third book...

The Island of the Day Before by Umberto Eco I'm a HUGE fan of Eco's novels The Name of the Rose, Foucault's Pendulum, and Baudolino- not so much The Mysterious Flame of Queen Loana. By my recollection I bought this book while visiting my best friend in AZ in around 2001 or 2002 and like the books above, there were many attempts, much failure, and the quiet mockery. Last night I started my most recent attempt at it and I feel as though I may make it this time as I have resolved to read it with...and this is not easy for me...patience. Regardless of whether I succeed this time or not, it contains one of my favorite quotes of all time, "The first quality of an honest man is contempt for religion."

Indeed.


*Setting aside pretty much everything I had to read by David Hume for a class in graduate school. Tough stuff to be sure, but I think the biggest problem may have been my disgust with the professor's inability to teach leading me to become passive-aggressive about the material. My attitude was something like, "If you're not going to teach, I'm not going to learn." My only non-A in graduate school was in the is class. Somebody almost got punched...

I am living proof of this

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20071218/sc_nm/chimps_math_dc

My guess is that I'd finish somewhere in the middle of the pack- or whatever the name is for a group of chimpanzees.

Big Red Bows

How offensive are the television ads (particularly those for Lexus) in which somebody gives a $30,000-$75,000 automobile as a Christmas gift?

And we wonder why people in "Third World" (and other) countries hate us? Sheesh! I'm tempted to take a long, hot bath in my marble tub with the diamond-encrusted solid gold faucet until I can stop thinking about it.

This is one reason that there will always be a part of me that is a little bit (or more) of a socialist.

Curses!

What should have been a glorious (and lucrative!) fantasy football season came to an end in the playoffs yesterday as the weather in the New England game and a broken leg prevented me from moving on to the finals next week!

That being said, I certainly had $10 worth of fun over the course of the season- it just would have been nicer to see that multiply into the first or second place share of the money.

Oh well, wait 'til next year!

Less than 10 days until Christmas!

Rather than posting my Christmas list (with pictures!) as I have done in the past, I thought I'd try something different this year and post my list and give odds on what I am most likely to receive.

How could I possibly be able to determine what I'm most likely to get? First, I know which ones are too expensive for anyone to get me, so those are out. Second, I know that there will be some that are purchased by my immediate family but given to me "from" people outside of my immediate family. Third, I know my family. They will not be able to stay away from giving me some of the practical things on my list- call it a combination of nature (our family's thrifty Scottish heritage) and nurture (self-reliant New England location). Fourth, and finally, only once in my life has my family (specifically my mom) truly surprised me with a Christmas gift. So, off we go!

• Outside Magazine subscription: 2/1
• A good bet as it makes things easy for my brother in-law's brother.
• Two tickets to a Red Sox game: 15/1
• Not confident in this one, but if it happens, my sister will be behind it.
• Digital Camera: 5/2
• This is the most likely to be my "big gift" this year.
• Any of the IKEA items on my list: 50/1
• Too expensive and too inconvenient to acquire. I'll drop the odds to 25/1 on the kitchen table/chairs or a gift card.
• Items from my Amazon wish list: 3/2
• These are the cheap, "go to" gifts for those who can't come up with anything else.
• Seinfeld/Family Guy seasons on DVD: 4/1
• I should probably give higher odds on these, but somebody might come through.
• Duvet Cover: 2/1
• Almost a lock, if Mom finds a bargain it will be a done deal.
• Small Humidifier: 6/1
• This would be so practical it would almost hurt my feelings so I'm going to have faith in my family and put a little longer odds on it than I probably should.
• Shoes from Zappos: 10/1
• Even the lack of risk (free shipping/free return shipping) in getting the wrong size will not allay the fears of certain people in my family have of ordering online.
• Wireless router for my iBook: 3/1
• I could probably shorten the odds even more on this because my brother (the software engineer) will likely be able to acquire one at a criminally low price.
• House plant: 1/1
• The time of year might work against this, but at worst, I'm sure I'll get a gift certificate for one.
• GPS unit for hiking: 25/1
• Too many variables for some people to consider purchasing it.
• Step stool: 1/1
• Inexpensive and practical- too hard to resist.

So there we have it! I'll be back in eight or nine days to see how I've done...

Winter!

I woke up to almost a foot of snow this morning and there's more on the way tomorrow night.

THIS is what winter is supposed to be like in New England.

Hopefully this is just the beginning!

My point is made

Abbot and Costello, er, Max Bretos and Christopher Sullivan, are the commentators on the Boca Juniors-Etoile Sahel match I'm watching. Christopher just said, "Here we see the repetition- ah, replay of..."

"Repetition?!" Seriously?!

If he wasn't American born and raised I'd think he learned his English from a textbook in English that was badly translated into a foreign language, then translated back into English, then plopped onto little Christopher's desk. He speaks like the surreal directions you read when putting together furniture produced in South Korea or Vietnam.

Or, maybe after years of work on television he's just now been introduced to this, "instant replay."

Oh, and Boca are wearing their traditional blue shirts with the wide, yellow, horizontal stripe, but with yellow shorts and socks. What? Why? It's not like there's a conflict with Etoile Sahel, they're wearing red from head to toe!

Sleepin' Late

I slept until 12:09pm today, something I haven't done in a long, long time- and trust me, I was once known for sleeping until mid-afternoon day after day after day.

At first, I was a little annoyed that I'd "slept for half the day," but then I realized that this was something crabby old people say, but, I also realized that I can't remember the last time I felt quite this rested.

I may go for two in a row tomorrow. I though, I suppose, two of anything can only be in a row, can't they?

My So-called Life

I should not be this happy about squeaking out a 2 point win in my fantasy football league.

Nor should I have been so anxious while doing so.

That being said, I'm now 11-3 and in no worse than second place (which means I'm a lock for the playoffs).

Should things continue to go well I could see a $30-90 payoff in the end- not bad for a $10 investment.

Two Observations on the "Princess Bride"

1. Has any woman ever looked more beautiful than Robin Wright does in this movie? Say what you will about Sean Penn, but he's a very, very lucky man.

2. The more you look at Cary Elwes in his close-ups, the odder his face becomes. His eyes are kind of close together (mongoloid is the word that comes to mind) and his bone structure seems to be kind of lumpy.

Oh, and of course, Andre the Giant is awesome.

Sometimes guilt is misplaced

I'm just a bit of a movie buff, but for whatever reason I've never bothered to investigate the cinema of France in general and the movies of the French "New Wave," Truffaut, Goddard, et al. in particular.

I'm also in love with film noir and while studying it I learned that the French were the first to use the term (hence, the term!) and that they made some good films in the genre.

Anyway, I decided to make good use of Netflix and remedy this situation.

So far, meh.

I started with one of the big ones, Truffaut's "The 400 Blows." It was good, for sure, but I wouldn't say great. I'd recommend it to others, but it was not the life changing experience I had been led to believe it would be. I was not, however, deterred.

Next was "Rififi,"directed by Jules Dassin who also directed several American films noir that I have enjoyed, including "Brute Force" and the original "Night and the City." This was better, but it was not- in my opinion- an example of film noir. There were some aspects (no hero, not happy ending, etc.) that fit with the genre, but basically it was a "caper" film. To put a finer point on it, the "philosophy" of the film would make it film noir, but the look of the film is too bright and open to qualify.

Still to come are "Le Samouri" (which I have high hopes for) and "Le Professionnel," we'll see...

Saturday Night Observations

First, there could not be less on television on Saturday night. I know that part of it is that the various networks assume everyone is out on Saturday night, but I am not. I have no social life. So, perhaps somebody out there with some money to invest could put together some sort of cable television for people like me- "Shut-In TV" or something like that.

Second, by process of elimination I'm watching the Bruins v. Maple Leafs game. I've always been a hockey fan and a Bruins fan, but in the decade or so* since Cam Neely retired (and the Bruins have gotten worse and worse) I've watched them less and less. I'm actually enjoying tonights game, but every few minutes I find myself saying, "Who the hell are these guys?" Here are the ones I could name:

-Glen Murray (because he's been there on and off since 1991)
-Zdeno Chara (because he was in the news when he was traded and he's the tallest player in the NHL and I tend to know useless crap like that)
-Tim Thomas (because he's been there off and on for 5 years and went to UVM- I went to UNH)
-P.J. Axelsson (because he's been there for 10 years)
-Marco Sturm (because he's one of only a few Germans in the NHL...see Chara comment)
-Phil Kessel (because he had cancer of the...er, he had cancer)

*for six of those years I without access to Bruins games unless they were on national TV, I'm not as "fair weather" of a fan as my statement above may make me seem at first read!

Well, anyway, I'm sure that was enlightening for everyone involved, I'm going to fire up the PlayStation.

Cool Website of the Day

Check out:

www.strangemaps.wordpress.com

Very thought-provoking, and, nerd that I am, I was kind of disappointed when I realized I'd reached the end.

Cruel and Unusual Punishment

This afternoon's UEFA Cup match between Everton and Zenit-St. Petersburg match is a "cracker" and it's not even halftime yet.

Unfortunately, "your match commentator" is Max Bretos...solo. None of Christopher Sullivan's rambling, malapropisms, or foreign language neologisms to distract me from the constant stream of "asshattery" that is the aforementioned Bretos' version of play-by-play.

There was a poorly called penalty (and subsequent red card) earlier in the half that Max first thought was unquestionably a penalty- until he saw the replay- at which point it became the crime of the century. Given that he is probably commenting on this game while watching a monitor in a control room somewhere in the Fox Sports studios (as opposed to actually being at Goodison Park in Liverpool) he probably should have done what I did (as I sit in my living room watching on television)- wait to see the replay.

Jack-ASS.

If it's 22 degrees outside...

...how is it raining instead of snowing?

I'm really hoping to see a pile of snow when I wake up tomorrow!

It's kind of fitting...

...that it snowed on the first day of December.

Sadly, it did not snow very much.

Happily, there's a possibility of more on Monday.

Hooray for Winter!